SONG CHALLENGE WINNER!

The Song Challenge:   This Challenge! idea comes from our one and only MMario -- which kinda makes me wonder if he's ever actually been in - Port-a-Potty Peril -- Huntingdon Valley, Pennsylvania, June 15 - Police rescued a man who found himself stuck in the depths of a portable toilet at a recreational field Wednesday afternoon, after he lowered himself inside and couldn't get out. The man, not identified by police, told officers he was trying to retrieve his keys. He was trapped there for at least 45 awful minutes, he told police.   Children playing basketball heard the man calling for help and told their mother. She called township police. Officers arrived about 2:45 p.m. and found the unfortunate man, still shouting and in the toilet's lower chamber up to his hips.  He was naked from the waist down, having taken off his shoes and pants for his unpleasant task.   It took emergency response workers until 3:28 p.m. to extract him, police said, adding that they had to destroy a significant part of the facility in the process. Police could not estimate the cost of the damage.   One he was free, the man was taken to hospital for treatment of cuts and bruises - and to have the wedged-tight toilet seat removed from around his torso.

The House Of The Rising Tide by Dharmabum
(Tune:  The House Of The Rising Sun)

There is a house in Huntington, 
Out in the Keystone State, 
It's been the ruin of my pride, 
Where I suffered a terrible fate. 

I was jogging in the park, 
One Wednesday afternoon, 
When suddenly I heard the call, 
So I ran to the bathroom. 

While fumbling with my jogging shorts, 
My keys came tumbling free, 
I tried to catch them in mid flight, 
But they got away from me. 

Now they could've landed on the floor, 
And rested near my feet, 
But they headed for the depths of hell, 
And went through the toilet seat. 

I don't know what went through my mind, 
The memory's gone black, 
But for some unknown reason, 
I thought I'd get them back. 

I thought that I would go head first, 
But that would never do, 
So I stepped in up to my waist, 
Just a wading in that poo. 

I felt around with my bare feet, 
Just searching for that prize, 
Lord let me find my lost car keys, 
And make it home to sanitize. 

I found three condoms and some change, 
Enough corn to choke a horse, 
But just as I gave up the fight, 
Things turned from bad to worse. 

In my haste to wiggle in, 
I'd had not thought of it, 
I'd wedged myself inside the seat, 
Now I'm stuck waist deep in shit. 

I pushed I pulled I tried to jump, 
But it all seemed of no use, 
It seems I've got no other choice, 
But to sing the shithouse blues. 

Somebody heard my cry for help, 
Somebody called the law, 
When they arrived and looked inside, 
They laughed at what they saw. 

They had to cut that Port-O-Pot, 
To set this poor soul free, 
To liberate my naked ass, 
From crap up to my knees. 

They put me in an ambulance, 
All covered up in poo, 
To make it worse I had to wear, 
A toilet seat tutu. 

So mothers tell your children, 
Not to do as I have done, 
The Port-O-Pot's no place to swim, 
Believe me it's no fun. 

There's an ending to this story, 
And it's really not too sad, 
I'm a diver now for Roto Rooter, 
And the pay is not too bad. 

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