SONG CHALLENGE WINNER!

The Song Challenge:   Whoa, HOT PANTS! Good Lawd, That's Where It's At! -- Colorado Springs, Colorado, Jun 27, 2001 -- If you're thinking about going to the mall in that snappy aluminum-lined underwear in the back of your dresser drawer, think again.   Beginning Sunday, it will be illegal in Colorado to wear aluminum underwear.  OK, there's a caveat. You can wear aluminum briefs and lingerie as long as it's for personal amusement - but not if it is to help steal by foiling stores' anti-shoplifting devices.   The new law is no laughing matter ... really.  "This is serious business," said Sen. Stephanie Takis, one of the bill's sponsors.   "We have laws against using crowbars as theft devices, but if you were lining your underwear with aluminum foil, that was not a crime."  And by golly, said Takis, it should be.  She cited several Denver-area malls that have caught shoplifters with aluminum-lined shopping bags and even the so-called "iron pants" and could do nothing to stop it.   Steve Miller, an attorney who helped draft the bill:  "I don't know if it was the highlight of my career, but I got the assignment."  Miller said the bill went through several evolutions - "or devolutions depending on your viewpoint" - before it received Gov. Bill Owens' approval.  Essentially, it makes it a misdemeanor to make, wear or know others are wearing aluminum underwear if they intend to use it to fool stores' theft-protection devices.  Those devices electronically sense when merchandise leaving the store hasn't been handled by a cashier, and foil can interfere with that detection.   Miller said the new law also gives store employees civil and criminal immunity if they stop shoppers who crackle when they walk.


Hot Pant Explosion by JenEllen

Well, I've worked here a while
And seen lots of things
But the latest has me in a thrall
The memo that came 'cross my security desk said
No more tin foil panties in the mall

It's been narry a week
Since the notice came down
Causing all of this commotion
Victoria's Secret is secret no more
We've got us a hot pant explosion

No one believes me
The guys at the bar
Are laughing with me every night
Shoplifter's excuses
Can bring you to tears
Or cause you one hell of a fright

It's been narry a week
Since the notice came down
Causing all of this commotion
Victoria's Secret is secret no more
We've got us a hot pant explosion

The woman we caught
In electronics last night
Thought she was incredibly wise
Said the aliens might be
Reading her brain waves
(Sorry, m'am that one only works for the guys...)

It's been narry a week
Since the notice came down
Causing all of this commotion
Victoria's Secret is secret no more
We've got us a hot pant explosion

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