Hey Pants-Away by Lonesome EJ


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The Challenge: The 'song subject' for the great Easter Bonnet(?) Special Challenge was this news story -- DATELINE: GRETNA, Louisiana -- The debate was serious. The vote unanimous. The Gretna City Council says it's now legal in Louisiana to throw women's underwear from Carnival floats. "So we're pro-panties -- it's on the record," joked one city councilman. However, it is still illegal to throw anything that is ". . . lewd or lascivious and includes, but is not limited to, condoms and inflatable paraphernalia." The panty-throwing issue was pushed by protesting parade organizers. "If panties are . . . vulgar, why are they exposed in every department store in the nation?" asked one of the captains of the Elks Krewe of Gretna. Another Mardi Gras group captain firmly agreed. "Panties have been a legitimate throw for Mardi Gras for years," he said.!

Hey Pants-Away by Lonesome EJ
(with a Bo Diddley beat)

Spy Boy slide up
Movin' smooth and slow
Tellin' you somethin'
You really ought to know
Big Chief gets angry
On Mardi Gras Day
If all the young women
Don't throw their pants away!

All the pretty girls
Up on the balcony
Take them panties off
Drop 'em down on me!
Spy Boy kick 'em up
With his big flat feet
Make it look like a snowstorm
All over Bourbon Street!

My Granma thought
She was too damn old
Til she put on them panties
Purple, green and gold
My Granpa he say
That it just won't do
But she took 'em off anyway
And throwed her pants at you!

Sweet Isabelle Jolie
With the Uptown Crewe
Was a debutante virgin
She was tried and true
But come Fat Tuesday
She drank too much brew
Somebody took her panties
And she never knew!

Now the Big Chief he can't
Throw his underwear
'Cause he say he left 'em
On the kitchen chair
But me Spy Boy say
He ain't tellin' it right
He can't get off his jockies
'Cause the band too tight!

Me Spy Boy say
Listen what I said
Got to wear them panties?
Wear 'em on your head!
All the Wild Tchoupitoulas
Be singin' this song
Throw them pants away now
Be they jocks or thongs!