Oh Dear, Hereford Kamikaze by Scotsbard


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The Song Challenge: This idea was suggested by our own DaveO, and many thanks to him for it! And for your efforts this time, a special Golden Cow Chip with Sorcha's Gilded Feblueberry Award has been designed. Comin' In On A Hoof And A Prayer -- Early in 1997, the dazed crew of a Japanese Trawler was plucked out of the Sea of Japan clinging to the wreckage of their sunken ship. Their rescue, however, was followed by immediate imprisonment once authorities questioned the sailors on their ship's loss. To a man they claimed that a cow, falling out of a clear blue sky, had struck the trawler amidships, shattering its hull and sinking the vessel within minutes. They remained in prison for several weeks, until the Russian Air Force reluctantly informed Japanese authorities that the crew of one of its cargo planes had apparently stolen a cow wandering at the edge of a Siberian airfield, forced the cow into the plane's hold, and hastily taken off for home. Unprepared for live cargo, the Russian crew was ill-equipped to manage a now rampaging cow within its hold. To save the aircraft and themselves, they shoved the animal out of the cargo hold as they crossed the Sea of Japan at an altitude of 30,000 feet.

Oh Dear, Hereford Kamikaze by Scotsbard
(The tune should be obvious; sorry 'bout the loose scansion ...)

Chorus:
Oh dear, what can the matter be?
Seven wet fishermen plucked from the Japan Sea,
claiming they'd sunk due to bovine catastrophe;
"Cow fell on us from thin air."

The first soggy sailor was boson Kajimi,
with his friend Kojo had just brewed a pot of tea,
found that their lunch would include beef sashimi;
A cow fell on them from thin air.

The twin netmen Naji and Noji each had a dish,
catfish and dogfish they'd caught with a lucky swish,
but they never thought that they'd haul in a cowfish
'Till cow fell on them from thin air.

(Chorus)

The engineer Kushiwa asked if the the sushi's done,
bowman Nokuma spied something right in the sun:
"A bird, a plane or maybe Gozilla-san"
Then cow fell on them from thin air.

The Captain, Miyagi, who never his bib did doff,
hurled his tempura at them and was heard to scoff;
"Luskies should keep that damn beef and make stloganoff,
Cow fell on us flom thin air!"

(Chorus)