Here Are The Nudes by Mbo


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Anyone is welcome to perform these songs in public without royalties; however, if any of them are recorded or published for profit, the writers/composers expect the usual royalties.

The Challenge: To write a song about -- Free Outfits For Nude Shoppers -- An Austrian clothing chain is offering shoppers $385 worth of free clothes if the customer enters the store completely naked. Streakers must make it as far as the checkout counter of any Kleider Bauer outlet, where they'll be greeted with a towel to cover up as well as a voucher to buy clothes for the trip home, the department store said in a statement last week. However, fearing an onslaught of shoppers from a nation not averse to baring all in public, only the first five strippers of the day at each of the 40 department stores will be rewarded. Naturally the store stands to win no matter what. One commentator noted that obviously more than 5 will show up to win, and those nudes will want to buy some clothes so they can leave with what little dignity they may have intact. No doubt, plenty of gawkers will show up to oggle the streakers, and they'll probably feel compelled to buy some clothes as well. And then of course, there's the owner who thought it all up who'll not only enjoy extra sales, but will get a free show as well.

Here Are The Nudes by Mbo

Mbo's Comments: Ok, here's one for The Trumpet Goddess!

Here are the nudes
Hanging around by the department store
Here are the nudes
Pushing and shoving to be the first through the door

Here are the nudes
Hoping desperately for some clothes to win
Here are the nudes
So they have something dignified to walk home in

["Today is the day for Kleider Bauer's great contest
as a thousand nude shoppers wait for the doors to open
If they are one of the first five through, they get
Three-hundred-and-eighty-five dollars worth of free
clothing to wear home..."]

["Tension risens as the manager opens the doors
and the wave of nudity crashes like a tsunami
upon the portals of victory..."]

Here are the nudes
Running like mad to the Bauer display
Here are the nudes
Just exactly who'll win, no one can say

Here are the nudes (the VERY nudest)
Here are the nudes
Here are the nudes
Here are the nudes

["...the dark-haired bloke is in the lead..."]
["...get out of my way you little blighter..."]
["...the woman in the, um, earrings is gaining..."]
["...let go of me you freak..."]
["...oh it's going to be a close one..."]
["...the crowd is really enjoying this..."]

Here are the nudes
I wanna go home with some clothes on my back
Here are the nudes
I want something in black!

Here are the nudes
The winners all agree it was better than a sale
Here are the nudes
Losers, look out--I believe it's starting to hail, hail, hail...

["...an amazing run in all respects..."]
["...are these the ONLY socks you sell..."]
["...what do you mean 'I looked better nude'..."
["...what if my choices go one dollar over the limit..."]
["...look out folks, it's like golfballs out there..."]