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How Big Is That Emu In My Window? -- (HAMBURG, Germany) - An escaped emu caused confusion in Hamburg after a woman called police to report what she thought was a bare-chested man with two big white dots on his forehead staring into her window, police said on Friday.  The large, flightless, Australian bird resembling an ostrich has been on the run from a local zoo since Thursday. "The woman heard someone tapping at the window at night and when she looked out she saw a head with two big eyes and a bare chest," a Hamburg police spokesman said.  Officers said they knew there was an emu on the run and put two and two together after they found no one suspicious.  "We're still looking for either a naked man with huge eyes or an emu," the spokesman added. The bird has escaped twice in two weeks. Last week it ran away and frightened a horse, but was eventually captured.


Helga And The Emu Man by Clifton53
(Tune:  Tweeter and the Monkey Man)

Helga saw the Emu Man one dark friday night,
His long neck and eyes gave her one goodly fright,
He gaped into her window as she washed up her hands,
She felt mortal fear ripplin' up right through her glands,
"Good Lord" she cried in horror as she stood by the sink,
"I ain't smokin' nothin' funny and I ain't had a drink",
"I know that I saw someone peepin' right in my house"
She called the cops in quickly, "Let them deal with this louse",

Chorus:
And the Emu Man,
Slid into the woods,
"They can chase me 'til they're tired
It won't due no bloody good"

Now the men of Hamburg's finest never liked the Emu Man
He swore they'd never take him anytime he ran,
"I scared the heck out of that horse last week, no amateurish trick"
"Next time they take a shot at me they'd better be quick"
The coppers showed up soon and took Helga's statement there,
"He had two white and shinin' eyes, and his chest it was bare"
"He tapped right on my window, damn near scared me half to death"
"I ain't seen nothin' like that since I quit snortin' meth"

And the Emu Man,
Forty miles ahead,
"They can chase me 'til they're tired,
They can chase me 'til they're dead."

Everyone remembers how the Emu got away
And he still makes appearances 'til this very day,
And Helga's left to wonder just what the hell she saw,
The night she saw the Emu Man, the night she called the law,
And down in Hamburg City they still talk about the tail
Of when they chased the Emu Man, tried to throw the bird in jail
And sometimes I sit and wonder, why I'm his biggest fan,
The legendary peeper called The Emu Man.

And the Emu Man,
A famous rogue today,
"I'll live to run again boys,
Live to run another day"

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