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Anyone is welcome to perform these songs in public without royalties; however, if any of them are recorded or published for profit, the writers/composers expect the usual royalties.

SONG CHALLENGE WINNER!

The Song Challenge:   But I Want To Get To Know You . . . (Hove, East Sussex, England)  A lapdancing club has applied to the local council for a variance to its licence to allow blind patrons to touch performers.   The Pussycats Club in Hove complained that the strict no touching clause in its current licence discriminates against the blind.  Kenneth McGrath, director of the club, took up the issue with Brighton and Hove council after two blind men visited Pussycats with a stag party of sighted friends.   They wanted to touch the girls, explaining that, if they could, it would give them a better idea of what the exotic dancers looked like.  The club's licence forbids any physical contact between dancers and guests except when customers feel the need to place banknotes in the dancer's garters.   Mr. McGrath said: "Both men said they very much enjoyed the dances and sensed highly the proximity of the dancers and, in particular, enjoyed the smell of their perfume.  Given their disability, they felt controlled touching ought to be permitted for registered blind persons only and with the dancer's consent (and) that touching should be voluntary and restricted to the breasts and only when the dancer is wearing a bra and not topless.  The dancer would retain full control, taking one hand of the blind customer and placing it on her breasts while dancing for an agreed time."   A council spokesman said:  "We would consider any application for a variance of the lapdancing licence once we receive it." 

Hands On Entertainment by MMario
(Somewhat to the tune of "Five Dollar Fine For Whineing")

I'm a red blooded male
both hearty and hale
And fluent in all kinds of braille

when I go out at night,
I "see" all the sights
With either my left hand or right

At Brighton and Hove,
there's a club now, By Jove!
That caters to my kind of cove

The dancers are pretty
and they felt it right shitty
that I would sit there in the dark

Now their license permits
while in there I sit
for my hands to "look" at their tits!


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