SONG CHALLENGE WINNER!

The Song Challenge:   The Case of the Crazed Cookie Crusher -- (Yardley, Pennsylvania) For three years the managers in the three supermarkets kept finding shelves of crumbled cookies and smashed loaves of bread. A cookie company finally installed a hidden camera turned on the cookie aisle at a Giant supermarket. That led to the arrest and conviction of Samuel Feldman, 37, on charges of disorderly conduct and criminal mischief, and a fine of $1,000.  Both prosecutors and defense attorneys appeared in court with bags of sweet-smelling evidence. The prosecution with bruised buns and crushed cookies, and the defense with unmangled goodies used to demonstrate their client's squeezing technique. Although Mr. Feldman claimed his innocence, saying 'I squeeze bread when I go to the store, but I don't get arrested for it," the judge said that the 18-hour videotape clearly showed Feldman "manipulating bread and cookies" and "acting suspiciously around the baked goods." A local reporter commented that the videotape showed Mr. Feldman waiting until his wife's back was turned, and only then would he begin bashing the bread. "He apparently loved to stick his thumbs in the middle of the fruit-filled cookies. The impressions were so distinct, the police were able to use them to lift his fingerprints."  Judge Heckler has postponed the sentencing hearing to give Mr. Feldman, who now lives in Las Vegas, time to find "a mental health professional who is familiar with bread-related compulsive behavior." Meanwhile, the bread and cookie distributors still want their dough, and are planning to sue Mr. Feldman in civil court to recover $8,000, the amount of baked goods they claim that he vandalized over the three year period.


Take Your Hands Off Of My Wrapper by Larry Boy Pratt

Larry Boy's Comments:  I'm new to this, so here goes with apologies to Sonny Boy Williamson.

Take your hands off of my wrapper
There ain't nothin' in there that belongs to you
Take your hands off of my wrapper
There ain't nothin' in there that belongs to you
If you don't stop squeezin my wrapper
I'm going to have to call the police on you

Take your fingers out of my cookies
That fruit filling is just fine without you
Take your fingers out of my cookies
That fruit filling is just fine without you
If you don't stop feelin' 'round my cookies
I'm going to have to tell your wife on you.

You poke my cookies, squeeze my bread,
And flatten out my cream puff.
Please stop beatin on my baked goods,
I have had about had enough
Take your hands off of my wrapper
There ain't nothin' in there that belongs to you
If you don't take your hands off my wrapper
I'm going to have to call the police on you.

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