Half-Dead Chicken Blues by JenEllen


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The Song Challenge: Chicken Of The Living Dead? -- Kay Martin, a secretary to a New Zealand MP, got the fright of her life a few weeks ago. According to the Auckland Sunday Star, she and a friend were chatting over a drink when they heard a chicken squawking. The bird sounded in some distress, so they went outside to investigate, thinking perhaps that it had escaped from one of the neighbors. But, there were no chickens anywhere. Then Martin realized with horror that the sound was coming from her own kitchen - coming, in fact, from the oven, where she had put a chicken in to roast half an hour earlier. "It was as if it was shrieking at me from its grave," she says. "It was so bizarre I just froze." As they approached the oven, the squawking reached a crescendo. They took the tray out, and as the chicken began to cool, the squawking died away. Martin chopped the neck off and threw it in the sink. She noticed that the vocal chords were intact. "Steam was coming up the neck from the stuffing," says Martin, and this had caused the dead bird to squawk. She has not cooked chicken since. P.S. TO ALL CHALLENGE!RS: If any of you are looking to qualify for the 'Two-Fer' Award (or better), check out SONG CHALLENGE! Part 8, Part 22, and Part 42 on the Song Challenge!s Past page, and see how you can work this Challenge! and one or more of these past hoo-haws into a song . . . It's a Double Dawg Dare, so ya can't turn it down! '-) -- Á.

Half-Dead Chicken Blues by JenEllen
(Tune: Hank's First Year Blues)

I was sitting there drinkin my glass of wine
Staring into my lover's eyes
I was already thinking about dessert
Then it came our big suprise
The squawkin' and a hissin'
Coming from my kitchen
Left the libido of an ice cube
I looked at my lover
As he ran for cover
From the half-dead chicken blues

Well I've been cookin' all my life
All of my life, you see
Most of them meals was all okay
But the last one's scarin' me
We thought of finger lickin'
So I thawed me out a chicken
Like I's 'sposed to do
Not really sure what went wrong
But it lent itself to this song
The half-dead chicken blues

All you women out there listen to my tale
Every last bit is true
There ain't a fella out there will hold his ground
When the oven starts to coo
To save him crawlin' 'neath the table
As soon as he is able
Here's what you have to do
When you think you're ready
Just fix you some spaghetti
And avoid the half-dead chicken blues