The Green Green Garden Gnome by Bradypus


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The Song Challenge: Mummy, Where Did The Funny Little Man In The Garden Go? PARIS -- The dormant Garden Gnome Liberation Front has sprung back to life, stealing about 20 gnomes during a nighttime raid on a Paris exhibition. "We demand ... that garden gnomes are no longer ridiculed and that they be released into their natural habitat," the Front's Paris wing said in a statement following its weekend strike. France's first garden gnome exhibition in the exclusive Bagatelle park on the outskirts of the capital opened last month and has been a hit with the public as chic Parisians develop a taste for kitsch culture. The Garden Gnome Liberation Front vanished from the public eye in 1997 after a northern French court handed its ringleader a suspended prison sentence and fined him for his part in the disappearance of around 150 gnomes. The only suspected sighting of the organization since then was a mass suicide of gnomes at Briey in eastern France in September 1998, when 11 of them were found dangling by their necks under a bridge. A letter found nearby said: "When you read these few words we will no longer be part of your selfish world, where we serve merely as pretty decoration." Now, the sight of 2,000 of the gaudy, colorful creatures dotted around the Bagatelle gardens has clearly proved too big a temptation for the group to avoid. It warned that it would strike again unless the show was closed and all the gnomes released. Organizers told the daily Le Parisien that they had no intention of bowing to the Front's demands.

The Green Green Garden Gnome by Bradypus
(Tune: 'The Green Green Grass of Home')

The old gnome town looks just the same
As I stand here in the rain
And there around me stand my momma and my pappa
Down the path I look, and there stands Mary
Belt of gold and hat like cherry
It's good to be a green green garden gnome

Yes, they all stand around me
Fishing, digging, smoking sweetly
It's good to be a green green garden gnome

The exhibition still stands there
You can see gnomes everywhere
Dressed in red and green, with beards and pointed hats on
Down the path I stare at my sweet Mary
What a gnome, not like a fairy
It's good to be a green green garden gnome

Yes they all stand around me
Flying, playing cricket proudly
It's good to be a green green garden gnome

Then I awake and look around me
At the grey sack that surrounds me
And I realise from the show I have been taken
They say that I've been liberated
If this is freedom, it's overrated
I was happy as a green green garden gnome

Yes they'll all come to see me
As I hang beneath the bridge at Briey
I've no chance to love my sweet green garden gnome.