SONG CHALLENGE WINNER!

The Song Challenge:   This Challenge! idea comes from our wonderful MMario. For some strange reason, this story kinda reminds me of the (seemingly neverending) presidential election. ;-) So, buys your tickets and takes your chances, Challenge!rs . . . We're going -- Freaky Frog Gigging . . . [Arkansas Democrat Gazette] -- Two local men were seriously injured when their pickup truck left the road and struck a tree near Cotton Patch on State Highway 38 early Monday morning. Woodruff County Deputy Dovey Snyder reported the accident shortly after midnight Monday.  Thurston Poole, 33, of Des Arc and Billy Ray Wallis, 38, of Little Rock are listed in serious condition at Baptist Medical Center. The accident occurred as the two men were returning to Des Arc after a frog-gigging trip. On an overcast Sunday night, Poole's pick-up truck headlights malfunctioned. The two men concluded that the headlight fuse on the older model truck had burned out.  As a replacement fuse was not available, Wallis noticed that the .22 caliber bullet from his pistol fit perfectly into the fuse box next to the steering wheel column. After inserting the bullet, the headlights again began to operate properly and the two men proceeded toward the White River bridge. After traveling about 20 miles and just before crossing the river, the bullet apparently overheated, discharged and struck Poole in the testicles. The vehicle swerved sharply right, exiting the pavement and striking a tree.  Poole suffered only minor cuts and abrasions from the accident, but will require surgery to repair the other wound. Wallis sustained a broken clavicle and was treated and released. "Thank God we weren't on that bridge when Thurston shot his balls off or we might both be dead" stated Wallis.  "I've been a trooper for ten years in this part of the world, but this is a first for me. I can't believe that those two would admit how this accident happened," said Deputy Snyder.  Upon being notified of the wreck, Lavinia, Poole's wife, asked how many frogs the boys had caught and did anyone get them from the truck. (Way to go, Lavinia).


Great Balls Of Sorrow by Dharmabum
(Sung to The Great Compromise by John Prine)

Me & Billy Ray Willis
Are a coupla Arkansas boys
We like to go huntin an' fishin
Drink beer an' play with our toys
Now Sunday's the night we go froggin
I kissed Lavinia an' she said "good luck"
I loaded the beer in my cooler
Me an' Billy drove off in my truck
We got us a favorite spot there
A place that they call Cotton Patch
An' we drank up all our Old Milwaukee
An' caught all the frogs we could catch.

Chorus:
I went froggin with Billy Ray Willis
We was drivin home last Sunday night
But much to my surprise
When I opened my eyes
I was missin a nut on the right.

We started back up the road there
Headin north on hiway 38
My old truck was a rattlin & squeekin
It was foggy & gettin real late
We was gettin up near the White River
With 2 buckets of frogs in the back
Then with a pop & a sizzle
Out in front of my truck turned all black.

(Chorus)

Now I knew the second it happened
I knew cause it happened before
An' I knew that I'd used up my last fuse
Ain't got round to buyin no more
Then Billy says "how bout a bullet"
"Got one here in my ol'22"
"Kinda short & it's too big around"
"But I guess It'll just hafta do"

(Chorus)

So we headed back out on that hiway
It was 3,cause I looked at my watch
With my headlights burnin so brightly
An' that fuse aimed right at my crotch
We drove on about 20 miles
An' that bullet musta got pretty hot
For a tree is where my truck headed
In the balls is where I'd been shot

(Chorus)

When I woke up there at the doctors
An' I felt that pain in my groin
As I slowly lifted that blanket
It looked like ground up sirloin
Now my Momma & Daddy was cuzzins
An' us young unz was not all that smart
But I guess I shoulda knowed better
Than to blow my balls all apart.

(Chorus)

Then they called up my dear wife Lavinia
They said "darlin we got some bad news"
"Ol' Thurston's been shot in the gonads"
"In soprano he's singin the blues"
An' then with concern quite becoming
In her tone was a worry & fright
With her husband laid out on that table
She asked if the frogs were alright.

(Chorus)

I know I shoulda been smarter
But I guess it coulda been worse
Instead of goin to the doctor
I coulda come home in a herse
I coulda lost the whole package
As it is I lost only one
Doc said that I was quite lucky
I didn't use a shell from a shotgun.


Final Chorus:
I went froggin with Billy Ray Willis
We was drivin home last Sunday night
But much to my surprise
When I opened my eyes
I was missin a nut on the right.

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