Granny's Got Some Pressies by Áine


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The Song Challenge: Coffee Bar Sparks Caffeine-Condom Rush: ROME (Reuters) - This Challenge! is from the "One And Only Five Minutes Flat" Amos, and is guaranteed to bring a smile to the faces of all coffee lovers . . . Italian espresso is supposed to give the drinker a lift, but it seems to be making some decidedly frisky. A coffee bar in the Italian beach resort of Sperlonga has taken to handing out free condoms with every cup it sells. 'It's a bit of fun, but also to make sure people protect themselves, the owner of the bar, The Pirate, told the newspaper Corriere della Sera, adding that a lot more young people had started drinking his coffee. More than 150 people a day have been whisking the condoms into their back pockets or handbags, according to the owner, but Sunday is apparently the busiest day of all. 'Who knows what they get up to,' he said.

Granny's Got Some Pressies by Áine

(Chorus)
Oh, Granny's got some pressies for the kiddies,
Granny's got surprises for us all!
She went to sunny Italy for a fortnight,
And from the look on her face, she really had a ball!

Well, Granny won a few bob in the lotto,
She decided then to take a little trip,
'I'm only 62,' she said, a giggling,
'No blue rinse here, I'm off to have a rip!'

Down to the shops to buy some fancy knickers,
High-heeled shoes and dangling ear bobs, too,
Gran went too far, though, with the purple mini,
Mum nicked the bag and hid it in the loo!

Chorus

Well, Granny left us standing at the door, now,
'I can make it on my own and I'll write soon',
With a wicked grin, she got into the taxi,
As it left, we heard her whistling Brigadoon.

When we went to clean her room, that's when we found it,
A pamphlet for Sperlonga, Italy,
It looked the perfect spot for our dear Granny,
Smiling people sitting 'round, drinking coffee.

Chorus

Granny never wrote, instead she called us,
In the background, we could hear some funny sounds,
We asked her what they were, but she just laughed and
Said she was learning how to 'grind her coffee grounds'.

She said something 'bout a 'pirate' and his 'freebies',
How she'd 'trimmed his sails' and 'run his boat aground',
How she'd share her 'flavoured bounty' when she got home,
And she'd 'spread' her new found 'fortune' 'round the town!

(Chorus)
Oh, Granny's got some pressies for the kiddies,
Granny's got surprises for us all!
She went to sunny Italy for a fortnight,
And from the look on her face, she really had a ball!
And from the look on her face, she really had a ball!