SONG CHALLENGE WINNER!

The Song Challenge:   Not one to let you Challenge!rs rest on your laurels (or cow chips, as the case may be), here's a great two-fer-one Challenge! from myself and the doesterr.  You have a choice here -- you can write a song about either of these topics, OR, you can write a song that includes both topics, thus qualifying for the Two-Fer-One Award! 

*************************************************** 

(This one is from doesterr) 

Do You Know The Way To San Jose?  This could only happen in California....(true story) -- Car Jacking Foiled: An elderly lady did her shopping and upon return found four unknown males in her car.  She dropped her shopping bags and drew her handgun, proceeding to scream at them at the top of her voice that she "knows how to use it and that she will if required... so get out of the car! "   The four men didn't wait around for a second invitation, but got out and ran like mad, whereupon the lady proceeded to load her shopping bags into the back of the car and got into the drivers seat.   Small problem: her key wouldn't fit the ignition.  Her car was an identical model and was parked four or five spaces further down.  She reloaded her bags into her car and drove to the police station.  The sergeant that she told the story to nearly tore himself in two with laughter and pointed to the other end of the counter where 4 pale white males were reporting a car jacking by a mad elderly white woman...no charges were filed. 

*************************************** 

And here's mine: 

Car 54 - Where Are You?  Pensioners cause mayhem in police car - Police are investigating how two 76-year-old women got hold of a squad car and drove it with sirens blaring and lights flashing - before crashing it.  The little old ladies were "Citizens on Patrol" volunteers who drive around Beloit, Wisconsin, looking out for suspicious behaviour - but they are NOT supposed to drive squad cars.  They were asked to go to the scene of an accident to help control traffic but ended up in the police squad car instead of one of the unmarked police cars they normally use, according to the Milwaukee Journal Sentinel.  Shirley Nelson and neighbour Jeune Nelson kept the radio on during the incident and were heard asking each other for directions.  Their adventure ended when they went through a red light and hit an oncoming car.  Neither woman was hurt but Shirley received a ticket for failing to drive safely.  The Citizens Patrol programme has been suspended pending an inquiry.  "I want to know who sent two little old ladies out in a squad car with a shotgun," says Rock County district attorney David O'Leary.  He is reviewing the case to see if criminal charges might be brought.

Granny The Outlaw by Dave (the ancient mariner)
(Tune:  "Pretty Boy Floyd The Outlaw")

Come gather around me people,
There's a story I will tell
About shopping Granny the outlaw,
California laughed like hell
Was in the town of San Jose,
On a sunny afternoon
Her car stood in the parking lot,
Around and about high noon

Dropping shopping bags beside her,
She grabbed her trusty gun 
And shouted at four jacking jerks,
I know how this thing works
They left the car in a hurry,
Running faster than the shame
The police they were a laughing,
Said they already new her name

Granny saw she made a big mistake,
And dove to the downtown jail
She was calling up her lawyer,
To come and post her bail
Well you say she was a bad girl
You say she was a thief
But four guys who she didn't shoot
Are filled with a some relief

This story has a happy ending,
Granny doesn't go to jail
But in San Jose you muggers,
Take a warning from this tale
Just cause you see and old gal
Taking shopping to her car
Don't think you can car jack her
She might be the Outlaw granny
And shoot you from afar

So don't become an outlaw
Try to beat San Jose law
Granny's been given a shotgun
And drives a police car
Yes she's a deputy sheriff
And she drives a police car

Back to Top