SONG CHALLENGE WINNER!

The Song Challenge:  An Official Double Dip Dare . . . -- Dare One:  When This Pig Gets Pumped . . . -- A pot-bellied pig sank his teeth into the leg of a burglar who was trying to rob his owner.   Arnold, who weighs 21 stone, also stopped a burglar from getting into a neighbour's house by biting him.   The animal has become a celebrity among police officers in his home town of Minneapolis.   Arnold first showed his crime fighting abilities when his owner Becky Moyer spotted burglars in her garage.  She told the Star Tribune: "There were two guys in there.   One of them put something in my back that felt like a gun, and they said they wanted my purse.  I said my purse was in the house.  When we went in, I screamed for Arnold, and he got up and grabbed the guy by the leg.  He yelled, 'There's a pig in here!' and ran.  There was blood all over."  She added: "The police gave him that 'crime-fighter' name.  When they're in the neighbourhood, they like to stop by and pet him."  Arnold was a present from her boyfriend.   "Some people get lingerie," she said. "I got a pig."  Dare Two:  . . . The Police Get Pissed . . . -- A Florida policeman who caught a trouble-making pig after a 300-yard chase had to call for back-up to help him keep it under 'arrest'.  Ocala officer Carl Dunlap managed to hold on to the 14-stone pig's ears and hind legs but said he was afraid the pig would wriggle free.   Three fellow officers arrived on the scene and managed to herd it on to a trailer.   Residents had complained the pig had been destroying property.  "He spotted the hog, chased him for about 300 yards and finally was able to wrestle him to the ground,'' said Captain Robert Douglas, who heard his shouts for help over the radio.  Minutes later, Captain Douglas, Captain Mike Deen and Deputy John Shivley arrived on the scene to help Dunlap end the struggle.  "The first thing Dunlap said was that he sure was glad we showed up because he really didn't know how much longer he was going to be able to hold on," Captain Douglas said.  The four men loaded the pig on to a trailer and took it to Marion County Animal Control buildings, where officials placed the pig in a dog pen.


Good Pig Bad Pig by Clifton53
(Tune:  Good Times Bad Times, a la Led Zeppelin)

Clifton's Comments:  So crank it up and take a trip down memory lane.


In the days of my youth I was told what it means to be a hog
Keep your snout clean or you'll end up no better than a dog
No matter how I try I find myself in the same old fog
Stealin' trash and raidin' gardens I've got quite a police log

Good pig, bad pig you know that I don't care
I've done alright for a porker, a pot-bellied short hair

I was young they took me home down to F L A
Only took a couple a days and I was makin' hay
Famous in my neighborhood, a thievin' poachin' wretch
Many times they chased me 'round, but me they could not catch, oh

Good pig bad pig I'm famous in my 'hood
Lots of sows to play with and man I'm eatin' good

My brother up in Minny, he's a goody four- hoof I can't stand
Always playin' hero, always doin' right and acting grand
And just the other night he bit right through a nice young burglar's hand
We ain't spoke in years, he's a ham-fisted fool to beat the band

Good pig, bad pig I'm glad that I turned left
I tote around my fourteen stone, now there's some friggin' heft

I know what it means to be a swine
This whole town is freakin' mine
I don't care what the neighbors say
I'm gonna run things, gonna have my way

I'm tough and quick and nasty, and I'm mean
Prime southern pork, purely porcine

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