Golden WC by The Crazy Bird


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Anyone is welcome to perform these songs in public without royalties; however, if any of them are recorded or published for profit, the writers/composers expect the usual royalties.

The Song Challenge: Yes, Virginia, There Really Is A Pot O' Gold! -- (HONG KONG, China) A Hong Kong jeweler has opened his doors to what is possibly the world's most glamorous convenience -- a glittering golden bathroom complete with two 24-carat solid gold toilets. Having learned in school that Lenin had wanted to make gold toilets for the Russian people, Lam Sai-wing says he had long dreamed of creating the ultimate in lavish loos. Now the owner of a successful jewelers, Lam has finally turned his ideal dream into a $4.9 million reality. Replete with gold wash basins, toilet brushes, toilet paper holders, mirrors, chandeliers and even wall tiles and doors made of solid gold, the 45-year old businessman calls his creation "a combination of my thoughts and ideals". Inside the ceiling of the "ancient Roman-style" washroom is encrusted with ruby, sapphire, emerald and amber. However, visitors to Lam's luxury lavatory will find that it is open only to an exclusive few. Potential users will have to spend at least HK$1,000 (U.S.$138) on jewelry for the privilege to relieve themselves amid the finery. The restroom was not to everyone's taste though. "It's too wasteful, said one visitor. Others who had the opportunity to make a dazzling deposit were more appreciative of the marketing concept behind the convenience. Wang Xifeng, a visitor from mainland China, said she appreciated Lenin's vision and Lam's realization of it. "It's a good selling point," she said with a smile. "It's a dream come true." For a peek at the pot, click here!

Golden WC (pronounced vee-see, in Europe) by The Crazy Bird
(Tune: "Lord Won't You Buy Me a Mercedes Benz")

Lord, won't you buy me a golden W. C.?
My friends all own symbols of prosperity.
But they'll die of green envy when they go take a leak
In my bathroom containing a golden W. C..

Lord, if I owned me a golden crapper,
I could listen to metallic splash and splatter
While relieving my bowels on expensive matter!
Lord, won't you buy me a golden crapper?

Lord, won't you buy me a golden toilet?
I'm sure I could make it turn a profit!
I could charge cold cash to sit on your ass!
Lord, won't you buy me a golden toilet?

Lord, won't you buy me a golden W.C....?