Gnome Poem by SINSULL


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The Song Challenge: Mummy, Where Did The Funny Little Man In The Garden Go? PARIS -- The dormant Garden Gnome Liberation Front has sprung back to life, stealing about 20 gnomes during a nighttime raid on a Paris exhibition. "We demand ... that garden gnomes are no longer ridiculed and that they be released into their natural habitat," the Front's Paris wing said in a statement following its weekend strike. France's first garden gnome exhibition in the exclusive Bagatelle park on the outskirts of the capital opened last month and has been a hit with the public as chic Parisians develop a taste for kitsch culture. The Garden Gnome Liberation Front vanished from the public eye in 1997 after a northern French court handed its ringleader a suspended prison sentence and fined him for his part in the disappearance of around 150 gnomes. The only suspected sighting of the organization since then was a mass suicide of gnomes at Briey in eastern France in September 1998, when 11 of them were found dangling by their necks under a bridge. A letter found nearby said: "When you read these few words we will no longer be part of your selfish world, where we serve merely as pretty decoration." Now, the sight of 2,000 of the gaudy, colorful creatures dotted around the Bagatelle gardens has clearly proved too big a temptation for the group to avoid. It warned that it would strike again unless the show was closed and all the gnomes released. Organizers told the daily Le Parisien that they had no intention of bowing to the Front's demands.

Gnome Poem by SINSULL
(Tune: (with apologies to) "The Minstrel Boy")

SINSULL's Comments: For those of you who don't play Monopoly, MG is a street in Atlantic City, the Land of Tacky.

The Garish Gnome on a strike has gone
Under Briey Bridge he is danglin'.
His turf serf life has he abandoned.
He won't guard the fuschia plants a-hangin'.

"Land of Lawns", says this noble dwarf,
"I hope the lads pound cleats in thee.
I seek a sailing prow at Fisherman's Wharf.
Or the useful job of Lawn Jockey."

They cut the gnome down mid his wailing moan.
His large nose was crushed upon the pavement.
A Garden Gnome has not a heart of stone
Though his nose be pressed granite and cement.

The Garden Gnome Liberation Front
Saw their resolve harden
But the little gnome was punished more by far
He is chained in Marvins Gardens*.

"Land of Lawns", says this noble dwarf,
"I hope the lads pound cleats in thee.
I seek a sailing prow at Fisherman's Wharf.
Or the useful job of Lawn Jockey."