The Girl In The Bobble-Hat by derrymacash


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Naughty Naturalists Nabbed in Night-Vision Nasty –– A couple at a lakeland holiday park were caught naked on cameras meant to monitor the movements of badgers. The pair ventured into the snowy woods at the Oasis Village, near Penrith in Cumbria. Their romp was beamed into every hotel bedroom on a special channel trained on the badger set. The night-vision camera caught the couple in the early hours of the morning. The woman kept her bobble hat on, reports the News of the World. The pair stopped when they heard a sound and quickly put their clothes on before being chased by a security guard with a torch. The identity of the couple has not been revealed.

The Girl In The Bobble-Hat by derrymacash
(Yet another parody of a song from Cold Blow And The Rainy Night – this time of "The Lakes Of Ponchartrain")

It being a fine May morning I bid Penrith adieu
And I took the road for Lancaster, my fortune to renew
At the back of the Oasis, by the badger-hole, there sat
The prettiest girl in all the world, the girl in the bobble-hat

I sat myself beside her in the early-morning sun
It was the depths of evening before I rose again
The stranger 'came a friend to me in just ten minutes flat
And I feel in love with the bonny girl in the bonny bobble-hat

I said "My pretty maiden the omens here are good
That I should chance to come upon such beauty in the woods"
"You're welcome here kind stranger" and then bestowed a kiss
"We never turn a stranger away in the woods around Penrith"

She then removed her garments and treated me right well
The hair around her shoulders in jet-black ringlets fell
Naked as a baby upon the ground she sat
Free of coat or vestment, save for her bobble-hat

I asked her if she'd marry me, she said that could never be
For she'd a love already, and he was far at sea
She said that she would wait for him, although he was a prat
To ever leave fair Penrith town and his maid in the bobble-hat

So it's fare thee well me bonny young girl, our parting was for good
But I'll not forget your kindness in the clearing in the wood
For the local badgerologists filmed our love-play
And they ran me off a copy and I watch it every day