SONG CHALLENGE WINNER!

The Song Challenge:   Whoa, HOT PANTS! Good Lawd, That's Where It's At! -- Colorado Springs, Colorado, Jun 27, 2001 -- If you're thinking about going to the mall in that snappy aluminum-lined underwear in the back of your dresser drawer, think again.   Beginning Sunday, it will be illegal in Colorado to wear aluminum underwear.  OK, there's a caveat. You can wear aluminum briefs and lingerie as long as it's for personal amusement - but not if it is to help steal by foiling stores' anti-shoplifting devices.   The new law is no laughing matter ... really.  "This is serious business," said Sen. Stephanie Takis, one of the bill's sponsors.   "We have laws against using crowbars as theft devices, but if you were lining your underwear with aluminum foil, that was not a crime."  And by golly, said Takis, it should be.  She cited several Denver-area malls that have caught shoplifters with aluminum-lined shopping bags and even the so-called "iron pants" and could do nothing to stop it.   Steve Miller, an attorney who helped draft the bill:  "I don't know if it was the highlight of my career, but I got the assignment."  Miller said the bill went through several evolutions - "or devolutions depending on your viewpoint" - before it received Gov. Bill Owens' approval.  Essentially, it makes it a misdemeanor to make, wear or know others are wearing aluminum underwear if they intend to use it to fool stores' theft-protection devices.  Those devices electronically sense when merchandise leaving the store hasn't been handled by a cashier, and foil can interfere with that detection.   Miller said the new law also gives store employees civil and criminal immunity if they stop shoppers who crackle when they walk.


Foil Bikini by MMario
(Tune: Yellow Polka-Dot Bikini)

She was afraid as she sat in the hoosgow
She was as nervous as she could be
She was afraid she'd get thrown in the lock-up
All 'cuz of her new bikini!

"6, 8, 10 - she won't ever shoplift again!"

It was a shiny little crinkly brittle foil wrap of a bikini
That she wore for the first time today
a shiny little crinkly brittle foil wrap of a bikini
she only bought to enhance her foreplay

Well she put it on under her street clothes
Which they say was to help steal the loot
But the truth was her boyfriend likes metal
And thinks al-u-min-i-um's cute

"2, 4, 6, yes we know, it's kinda sick!"

It was a shiny little crinkly brittle foil wrap of a bikini
That she wore for the first time today
a shiny little crinkly brittle foil wrap of a bikini
she only bought to enhance her foreplay

She went into the store for some chocolate
It was one of those days, don't you know!
But the lines were so long she just stashed it
Down her bra; then she started to go

"4, 6, 8, Never made it through the gate!"

It was a shiny little crinkly brittle foil wrap of a bikini
That she wore for the first time today
a shiny little crinkly brittle foil wrap of a bikini
she only bought to enhance her foreplay

The alarms they went off in a flurry
Sirens, lights and commotion galore
Security came running in a hurry
Handcuffed her ; took her down to the floor

"7, 5, 1 & 3 - can you say brutality?"

It was a shiny little crinkly brittle foil wrap of a bikini
That she wore for the first time today
a shiny little crinkly brittle foil wrap of a bikini
she only bought to enhance her foreplay

Now she's afraid as shesits in the hoosgow
For the law is against her you see
And what's more she has dropped her can opener
And she's fears that she now has to pee!

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