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Anyone is welcome to perform these songs in public without royalties; however, if any of them are recorded or published for profit, the writers/composers expect the usual royalties.

SONG CHALLENGE WINNER!

The Song Challenge:   Love And Spots!!  Well, Challenge!rs -- Spring has sprung for most of us, and of course, at this time of year, every species experiences a little flutter of the heart and then, well, instinct takes over...   Perhaps inspired by his own 'instincts', our own Hyperabid has suggested the Challenge! topic of "first crushes and the opposite sex moving from pain in the *rse to "Why has God blessed me with a sex drive and acne at the same time!??".   An excellent and timely suggestion.   So, there you go Challenge!rs -- Songs about 'your first love and/or crush'.   Now I know we've all gone through this -- let's see what you can put to a tune!

First Crush by Hyperabid
(Tune:  Always Look on the Bright Side of Life - E. Idle)

The first girl in this mantra 
Was a pretty child called Sandra 
I was nine and she was nearly ten 
I told my Mum we'd marry 
She laughed and said don't tarry 
Do it before she gets to know men 

Your first crush will never be your first wife 
On this fact I'll happily bet my life 

Inexperience is bliss 
Until life takes the piss 
Innocence is great 'til first heartbreak 
When you're courting your first girl 
Go ahead give it a whirl 
But don't be shocked when you're left in the wake 

Your first crush will never be your first wife 
On this fact I'll happily bet my life 

The next girl on my list 
Was a contortionist 
A pretty Asiatic dream co true 
But she was from a catholic country 
With a shotgun toting family 
So French kiss was 'bout all we got to do 

Your first crush will never be your first wife 
On this fact I'll happily bet my life 

Well then came Caroline 
A girl who was finally mine 
An English rose who knew just what to do 
A seventeen year boy 
Was pleased to be her toy 
But then she left and my life went askew 

Your first crush will never be your first wife 
On this fact I'll happily bet my life 

(Key change) 

Your first crush will never be your first wife 
On this fact I'll happily bet my life 

When you find a wife 
Then you'll think you've found a life 
But that's day one it all starts in from there 
When the littluns are a screaming 
And she's talking about leaving 
You'll think back to the past and wish you're there 

Your first crush will never be your first wife 
On this fact I'll happily bet my life 

(Play and/or whistle) 


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