Ferretman's Lament by Áine


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The Challenge: From a recent National Public Radio show segment: Mr. Patrick Wright is serving time in the George F. Bailey Detention Facility in Otay Mesa, California for brandishing a knife at police and for illegal possession of ferrets. In California, unlike most states in the U.S., keeping ferrets as pets is illegal. He picked up the knife when the police burst through his door during a raid to take possession of his four pet ferrets. "I like to believe I live in a free country . . . in California . . . it's like we're dealing with Stalin . . . it's completely un-American," says Mr. Wright. His fellow inmates in the county jail at first didn't believe he'd been arrested for ferret possession. However, after they'd seen his picture in the local newspaper, they began calling him 'Ferretman'. He told the court that he is sorry about the knife incident, but still defends his right to keep ferrets. The appeal of ferrets he says, '. . . they're like little clowns . . . they're Prozac with legs." The Challenge is to write a song welcoming Mr. Wright home from the county jail and/or defending his right to keep ferrets!

Ferretman's Lament by Áine
(Tune: If I Fell)

Since I fell in love with you,
And I promised to be true,
The fuzz don't understand.
They came bursting through my door,
And they made me really sore,
I had to take a stand.

They are taking me down to
the jail tonight,
And they're taking you away
beyond the light,
I know,
'Cuz I kept on saying no
to them,
When they wanted you to go
Away.

As I sit now in my cell,
I have to say,
That the law can
go to hell,
Then I'll keep my little pals,
'Cuz they can't keep me away
from you,
Even though they say you run
wild in the loo.

Though the guys down in Block D
make fun of me,
I'll stand up in court,
you'll see,
Take the third degree for you,
You're my Prozac on four legs,
And yet,
Up in the air will be your pegs
at the vets.

As I walk into the night,
I still see the sight
When you nipped the boys
in blue,
You were stuck like glue
to them,
But my life will ne'er be right,
it's through,
Since I fell in love with you.
Since I fell in love with you. (In 4-part harmony)