Farewell to Alms by Bradypus


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The Song Challenge: Here's a little story that Amos sent in for your 'songifying' enjoyment -- He calls it: "If I Gave Myself To You . . ." COLOMBO (Reuters) - A Sri Lankan man was seriously injured when he jumped naked into a lions' den at the national zoo, apparently offering himself up as a feast for the big cats, officials said Monday. "The man...had written a letter before jumping into the enclosure saying he wanted to give 'alms' to the lions," said Senarath Gunasena, director of the National Zoological Gardens in the Colombo suburb of Dehiwala. The man survived but the three lions in the den bit off parts of his arms, legs, chest and groin area. The incident occurred Sunday when the zoo was full of visitors. The man was rescued by zoo staff and onlookers who beat garbage cans to frighten the lions away and took him to a nearby hospital where he was in intensive care. Sri Lanka's majority Buddhist population believes that giving alms can earn merit for future incarnations.

Farewell to Alms by Bradypus

In Sri Lanka Zoo there's a lion
A poor lion, old, that's for sure
I'd like to cheer up that poor lion
But what do you give to the poor ?

Chorus
I gave him some alms, now I'm armless
I opened my soul and my heart
I ain't had a drink, but I'm legless
The whole thing just tears me apart

Giving alms to the poor is a good thing
To respect poor dumb creatures is right
When you're old you expect to be feeble
But that lion was filled full of fight

The sign, it said 'don't feed the lion'
But that's mean, it doesn't feel right
So I jumped in the pit with the lion
To give him a quick, tasty bite

I jumped in the pit with the lion
Though some people think I was nuts
It's partly to do with religion
And partly to prove I had guts

I was there in the pit with the lion
I sure didn't mean any harm
I bowed most polite to the lion
And the lion tore off my right arm

I got down on my knees to the lion
His mercy I wanted to beg
He looked, and he purred 'You poor beggar'
Then the lion ripped off my right leg

With my arm and my leg in the lion
I couldn't stand up straight and tall
And then in the groin the beast mauled me -
That lion was having a ball!

So now in the hospital I'm lying
I'm as mauled as a person can be
I'll no longer give alms to the lion -
If you've got any, give them to me.