Fare Thee Well Big Knickers by derrymacash


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Anyone is welcome to perform these songs in public without royalties; however, if any of them are recorded or published for profit, the writers/composers expect the usual royalties.

Brit Flits Nix Knicks! London (August 2001) -- Female athletes competing for Britain in the World Championships say their official team knickers are too skimpy. The runners are worried they will be flashing their bottoms at spectators. Officials say they don't want athletes to feel uncomfortable and have allowed them to wear last year's Olympic kit. Kathy Butler, who is competing in the 5000m at the championships in Canada, says the small knickers have left athletes with a dilemma. "If you pull them up you can see your bum and when you pull them down you can see your hips. They just don't fit properly," she said. She added: "I can't find my old Olympic ones, so I'll be wearing the hipsters." A spokesman for UK Athletics said that officials have given the all-clear for runners to wear last year's design. "Something had to be done. We can't ask our top athletes to run 25 laps wearing something they feel uncomfortable in," he said.

Fare Thee Well Big Knickers by derrymacash
(Another flight of fancy. This wee song's a parody of "Muirsheen Durkin")

In the days I used to hurdle
Wearing corsetry and girdles
I found them such a burden
I longed for lighter wear
Now I'm dressed less heavily
I stride along more cleverly
In second place I'll never be
Around the track I'll tear

CHORUS:
So it's fare thee well big knickers
I'm wearing something slicker
I'm running vastly quicker
I'm like a streak of light
I lead the field in every race
The sprint, the lope, the steeplechase
And on my way you get a taste
Of my charms and my delights

I've hurdled in Killarney
And I've triple-jumped in Blarney
And down near Lisdoonvarney
I've vaulted with a pole
Where someone shouted "Daughter dear
I'm getting a quare view from here
You're dressed up in such skimpy gear
I can nearly see your hole"

CHORUS

I've putted shot near oul' Tralee
I've run a mile in famed Ardee
And in Croke Park quite recently
I hurled a quare long puck
For my garb I have been criticised
For flashing tits and showing thighs
But I just counter "In me eye!
Away to hell and ... flip!"

CHORUS