Every Word You Type by Hyperabid


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The Song Challenge: Beelzebub Bytes! Forget about viruses and malicious hackers; the real threat these days is far more insidious. Your home computer may have the Devil in its data, say Reverend Jim Peasboro of Georgia. "... the Computer Age has ... opened yet another door through which Lucifer and his minions can enter and corrupt men's souls." Rev. Jim says he became aware of the problem from counseling churchgoers. "I learned that many members of my congregation became in touch with a dark force whenever they used their computers," ... "Decent, happily married family men were drawn irresistibly to pornographic Web sites and forced to witness unspeakable abominations." "Housewives who had never expressed an impure thought were entering Internet chat rooms and found themselves spewing foul, debasing language they would never use normally," he declared ... One woman ... confessed to me, 'I feel when I'm on the computer as if someone else or something else just takes over.'" The minister said he probed one such case, actually logging onto the parishioner's computer himself. To his horror, an artificial-intelligence program started spontaneously. "The program began talking directly to me, openly mocked me," he said. Then the device went haywire and started printing out what looked like gobbledygook. "I later had an expert in dead languages examine the text," the minister said. "It turned out to be a stream of obscenities written in a 2,800-year-old Mesopotamian dialect!" The minister estimates that one in ten computers in America now hosts some type of evil spirit. The Reverend advises anyone suspecting that their computer is possessed to consult a clergyman, or, if the computer is still under warranty, to take it in for servicing. " Technicians can replace the hard drive and reinstall the software, getting rid of the wicked spirit permanently," he says. However, there is some good news -- Only a PC built after 1985 has the storage capacity to house an evil spirit, the minister explained.

Every Word You Type by Hyperabid
(Tune: Every Breath You Take - The Police)

Hyperabid's Comments: Ah the fire and brimstone scent of a bible being bashed…

Every word you type
Every link you hype
Every site you see
They belong to me
I am watching you

Every single day
I wait to make you pay
Try to make you stray
If you're straight or gay
I'll be tempting you

Chorus:
Oh can't you see
These things were made for me
How your will may break
With every link you take

Every time you're mailed
Morality's assailed
'Cos you're dumb enough
To dial up this stuff
My will will prevail

Now you're on I will send stuff in bad taste
Direct you to porn sites in a lustful haste
Won't be long before your soul's in my embrace
I am waiting for you through a tease

La-nah-nah-nah
La-nah-nah-nah
La-nah-nah-nah
La-nah-nah-nah
La-nah-nah-nah
La-nah-nah-nah
La-nah-nah-nah
La-nah-nah-nah

Chorus:
Oh can't you see
You now belong to me
Doomsday's bound to be
'Cos you've bought a PC

Every single day
You parish tilts my way
Except for one priest
You're all for the beast
He is watching you