SONG CHALLENGE WINNER!

The Song Challenge:   Lost your 'Olympic' spirit? Here's a little story that should help to inspire all of us to 'go for the gold' . . . So, Go For It Challenge!rs!!   Thirty contestants from around the globe recently gathered in London for the second annual round of the Official World Dung Spitting Championships. CNN's Amanda Kibel was there to witness the 'action':   "It might not be the most physically demanding sport in the world, but mentally, it's a real challenge. All you need, say competitors, is a good lung capacity, limber lips, a strong mind and stomach, and a prime pellet of animal dung. The aim of the game is simple: overcome the resistance to placing the dung in your mouth and then, spit it out.   The all-important dung selection is first, and the competition was fierce for pieces of the finest droppings, gathered on a game farm in Africa, yielded by the Kudu, a small deer-like animal. And clearly, not just any old dung will do. A worthy pellet must be firm, not crumbly, and preferably, not too fresh.   As the first training session unfolded, interest from some passersby was high, but controversy dogged this competition from the start. One woman passerby commented, "You're spitting! And there's a rule about spitting in this country.  There is, there's a bylaw about spitting."   The games must go on. Competition day dawned, and competitors embarked on the vital warm-ups (gulping large portions of golden ale and dark stout). Mouths well lubricated, they spit their best, but in the end, it's a sudden-death playoff.   The Dungmeister, the reigning champion, the man who, in the past, has spat a mighty ten meters, faces off against an unknown, a rank outsider! A new champion is born, and he pays tribute to his technique: "I use the little pointed end (of the dung) towards the back. That seems to work."   But it takes more than just technique. Dung spitters say that what it's really all about is a simple case of mind over waste matter."

Dungmeister by Amergin
(Tune: Deportees)

Amergin's Comments:  Here's my entry, and may the ghost of Woody Guthrie haunt me for what I have done....

The judges are all here and the shitballs aflyin
The folks are all watchin the turds to go splat
They're spitting them as far as they're able
To see who will become the champion

Chorus:
Oh look at that one, there goes another
Johnny can spit farther than that Heather
You won't have a name if you win the tournament
All they will call you will be dungmeister

My father's own father, he spat in the contest
He never did lose a game in his whole life
It was ten bloody meters across the English topsoil
They all watched in it fly in amazement and awe

Chorus:

Some say it's illegal, to others it's madness
To put that crap into your rotten mouth
And to spit it out in the public places
This kind of thing will just have to stop

Chorus:

The shitball was flyin over the London park soil
The great ball of turd it turned brown our land
Who was that dear man that won the competition?
The newspaper said, "the Dungmeister"

Is this the best way to fertilise the parklands?
Is this the best way we can get all our kicks?
To spit animal dung all across the topsoil
And be known by no names except "dungmeister"

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