Drop A Pound by SharonA


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The Song Challenge: Free Outfits For Nude Shoppers -- An Austrian clothing chain is offering shoppers $385 worth of free clothes if the customer enters the store completely naked. Streakers must make it as far as the checkout counter of any Kleider Bauer outlet, where they'll be greeted with a towel to cover up as well as a voucher to buy clothes for the trip home, the department store said in a statement last week. However, fearing an onslaught of shoppers from a nation not averse to baring all in public, only the first five strippers of the day at each of the 40 department stores will be rewarded. Naturally the store stands to win no matter what. One commentator noted that obviously more than 5 will show up to win, and those nudes will want to buy some clothes so they can leave with what little dignity they may have intact. No doubt, plenty of gawkers will show up to oggle the streakers, and they'll probably feel compelled to buy some clothes as well. And then of course, there's the owner who thought it all up who'll not only enjoy extra sales, but will get a free show as well.

Drop A Pound by SharonA
(Tune: "Shop Around", words and music by William "Smokey" Robinson and Berry Gordy; adapted by Captain & Tennille for female vocalist)

(Pronunciation guide: Ideally, "trainer" should be pronounced "tray-na".)

"Just because you're a middle-aged woman now,
There's still some flings that you might wanna plan, now.
Before you tax some wider waistband, now,
You keep your figure with a strong little can, now."
My trainer told me, "You better drop a pound.
Mm-hmmm, you better dro-op a pound.

"There's a thing that I want you to know, now:
There's a store where your skin's gonna show, now.
The nudes'll come and the clothed are gonna go, now.
Before they tell you that your fluff ain't low, now,"
My trainer told me, "You better drop a pound.
Mm-hmmm, you better dro-op a pound.

"Try to get into a 'Large', then, hon.
Don't you be told you can fairly burst one.
Good-looking clothes ain't a dime a dozen;
Try to find you some they're gonna give you for nothin'.

"Before you're naked and they say you grew, now,
Make sure that their clothes fit you now.
Make sure that your love's not food, cow.
I'd hate to see you leave unclad and nude, sow."
My trainer told me, "You better drop a pound.
Mm-hmmm, you better dro-op a pound.
Oh yeah, you better DROP [pause] a pound!
Uh-huh, you better DROP [pause] a pound!..." [fade]