Do You See What I'll Be? by SharonA


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'I See Your Future Growing Bigger And Bigger' (Hamburg, Germany) A German clairvoyant is reading his clients' futures by feeling their naked bottoms. Ulf Buck says buttocks have similar lines to those on the hand, which can be read. The 39-year-old, who's been blind since he was three, says the bottom is more 'intense' than the hand. He says a reading can give information about his clients' personalities as well as their future wealth, happiness and health. Mr Buck from Meldorf, northwest of Hamburg, says he's attracting all kinds of clients including a soap star and a stockbroker. He also says being blind helps to relax his customers as they know they'll remain anonymous and that he doesn't get a thrill from the buttock reading, adding he's happily married.

Do You See What I'll Be? by SharonA
(Tune: "Do You Hear What I Hear?" – the Christmas classic – word and music by: Gloria Shayne Baker/ Noel Regney)

SharonA's Comments: Here 'tis, a Christmas song in July. My biggest dilemma with this parody was finding a word that sounded vaguely like "shepherd boy"....*G*

Said the white skin to the twiddlin' hand,
"Do you see what I'll be?
'Way above my thigh, twiddlin' hand,
Do you see what I'll be?
So far, you are prancing with delight.
Is your braille-ass gig second sight?
Will some male ass dig mine tonight?"

Said the twiddlin' hand to the hemorrhoid,
"Do you fear when I'm near,
Stinging when I'm nigh, hemorrhoid?
Do you fear when I'm near?
What's wrong? A thong, high above the knees!
It annoys your big ass, I see.
It annoys your big ass, and me."

Said the hemorrhoid, "Do your sightless thing,
Do, and know what eyes know
With your callus firm, sightless thing.
Do, and know where I'll go."
The guileless pile quivered where the bold,
Seeking fingers its fate foretold,
Where the fingers its fate foretold.

Said the fingers, "O dimpled derriere,
Kissin' someone's ass may
Pay our fees, dimpled derriere.
Kissin' your white ass? Nay,
Not while the pile peeping from your tight
Butt will bring no good sex. That's right,
I predict no good sex tonight!"

(Big finish, with chorus) "Not tooo - niiiiiiiiiiiight!"