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The Song Challenge:   Let's Have Another Cup of Cat Cra . . . uh, Coffee   – Well, it seems that the coffee market is being undermined by runaway planting in Vietnam and Indonesia, flooding the market with cheap coffee.  Meanwhile, consumption has been relatively flat.  A Starbucks on every corner doesn't mean people are drinking more coffee; thus, the proliferation of gourmet offerings as customers' tastes continuing to get more rarefied.  One coffee retailer in Atlanta sells something called "luwak" coffee, which it claims is picked by the common palm civet (Paradoxurus hermaphrodites), often described as catlike, but probably better thought of as an Asian version of a raccoon, coati or kinkajou.  The palm civet is also known as the 'toddy cat,' for its fondness for the palm juice that is tapped to make a sweet liquor.  On coffee plantations, palm civets dine heavily on coffee cherries.  However, they digest only the outer pulp of fruit, passing the coffee beans unharmed through their digestive systems.  And because palm civets repeatedly deposit their droppings in piles at the same spots, the coffee beans are easily collected, roasted then brewed into kopi luwak--civet coffee.  Kopi luwak is reputedly the best of all coffees because palm civets pluck and eat only the most perfectly ripe cherries!  The price of a pound of kopi luwak coffee?  $300.00.  Whether the beans are affected as they go through the animal's gut is also unknown. For that matter, there is some debate about whether coffee called kopi luwak was ever anywhere near a palm civet.  Asked how he knew the beans were really collected from civet scats, one coffee company representative said, "We operate on trust."  As for the taste, he described the brew as "gamey".   One dealer described the same scene being repeated every time he tells someone about luwak coffee:  "At some point in the story, when you explain how this cat eats only the perfectly ripe coffee cherries, the listener gets this cautious look on his face, and says, "Are you telling me that..." and the dealer always nods and says, "Yes, that's exactly right. Roasted cat-shit for $300 a pound."


Diggin' Up Beans by SharonA
(Tune: "Diggin' Up Bones" performed by Randy Travis)

SharonA's Comments:  According to the COWPIE website, the original song was written by Paul Overstreet and Al Gore. . . . THE Al Gore, the former Vice-President????  Can it be?

Well, last night I dug your coffee up from some ol' civet's spoor
I set it in my basket and I bent to dig up more
I got my pay last Wednesday and it didn't have much green
Yeah, I've been gettin' lean, diggin' up beans

I'm diggin' up beans (diggin' up beans)
For brewin' in your single-cup machine
You'll drink it in the mornin' on your mansion's mezzanine
While tonight I'm gettin' lean, diggin' up beans

When I went through my pantry, I found out that it was bare
No pretty pastries like you buy in Starbucks over there
You pay 300-plus for coffee, just so you'll be seen
While tonight I'm gettin' lean, diggin' up beans

I'm diggin' up beans (diggin' up beans)
You think it's such a nice, bucolic scene
What clothes I've got are reeking, and you're dressed up like a queen
While tonight I'm gettin' lean, diggin' up beans

While you go through your jewelry and you pick a pretty ring
I sift sh*t through my fingers and I give that cr*p a fling
Across this lonely berry patch to vent my starving spleen
Yeah, tonight I'm gettin' lean, diggin' up beans

I'm diggin' up beans (diggin' up beans)
The boss just raised my quota to be mean
You pinch your nose and drink your coffee, feelin' so serene
While tonight I'm gettin' lean, diggin' up beans

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