SONG CHALLENGE WINNER!

The Song Challenge:   Beelzebub Bytes!   Forget about viruses and malicious hackers; the real threat these days is far more insidious. Your home computer may have the Devil in its data, say Reverend Jim Peasboro of Georgia. "... the Computer Age has ... opened yet another door through which Lucifer and his minions can enter and corrupt men's souls."   Rev. Jim says he became aware of the problem from counseling churchgoers. "I learned that many members of my congregation became in touch with a dark force whenever they used their computers," ... "Decent, happily married family men were drawn irresistibly to pornographic Web sites and forced to witness unspeakable abominations."  "Housewives who had never expressed an impure thought were entering Internet chat rooms and found themselves spewing foul, debasing language they would never use normally," he declared ... One woman ... confessed to me, 'I feel when I'm on the computer as if someone else or something else just takes over.'"   The minister said he probed one such case, actually logging onto the parishioner's computer himself. To his horror, an artificial-intelligence program started spontaneously. "The program began talking directly to me, openly mocked me," he said. Then the device went haywire and started printing out what looked like gobbledygook.   "I later had an expert in dead languages examine the text," the minister said. "It turned out to be a stream of obscenities written in a 2,800-year-old Mesopotamian dialect!" The minister estimates that one in ten computers in America now hosts some type of evil spirit. The Reverend advises anyone suspecting that their computer is possessed to consult a clergyman, or, if the computer is still under warranty, to take it in for servicing. "   Technicians can replace the hard drive and reinstall the software, getting rid of the wicked spirit permanently," he says.   However, there is some good news -- Only a PC built after 1985 has the storage capacity to house an evil spirit, the minister explained.


The Devil's New House by Homeless

Homeless' Comments:  I've never, in my life, ever had any desire to write songs or lyrics. Then I got on Mudcat and saw these challenges. That being said, here's my submission for this challenge.   I do have a tune for it, but I don't know that it will ever make it outside of my head.  Believe it or not, two challenges ago was the first song I'd ever written. This is my fourth. I never much cared for poetry (other than the odd novelty) but did have a whole slew of English classes in high school. I just approach the songwriting the way I would an essay for the teacher.


On Friday night I was sitting tight, figuring my bills. 
The software on my new PC was fixing up those ills. 
When suddenly the numbers that I saw gave me a fright 
All those triple sixes sure did make my face turn white.

Now I have heard a rumor that this box can be the host 
of demon, devil, minion, wicked ilk or evil ghost. 
I never thought that it was true, but now I'm not so sure. 
The gibberish spewing on my screen seems anything but pure.

What would be the purpose of the devil in this box? 
Is he thirsting for my soul, or just my txts and docs? 
Has Satan spread his minions 'round the world via virus? 
Has he sent them out to claim the soul of every one of us?

Chorus:
Is Bill Gates the Anti-Christ or is he just a man? 
Does he hold the world in a big red claw? Does he have some evil plan? 
If I buy a new PC, just what all do I get? 
Is Satan well and living deep inside the internet?

Computers fill the common man with a new kind of greed. 
"Honey, just this one upgrade? It's all I'll ever need!" 
This new game is all the rage, it's filled with blood and gore. 
But I don't have quite enough RAM, I need just 8 meg more.

Now you can trust he uses lust. Oh the pictures you can find 
Of men and women, bottom, top, in front and behind. 
Girls with men, and girls with girls, and girls with animals. 
He's got a hold of all the souls of those poor horny fools.

We neglect our jobs and friends for those we know online. 
It seems behind a keyboard is where I spend all my time. 
Identities are up for grabs, take any that you pick. 
Maybe those anonymous posts are coming from Old Nick.

(Chorus)

Those that like their Linux, and others who use Macs 
May think that they are safely hidden from evil attacks. 
But Reverend Jim of Georgia (foremost authority) 
will take your misconception and he'll cast it to the sea.

A big hard drive, post '85, is all that you will need 
to host your very own demon or other evil breed. 
Now big Jim tells us that a spirit lives in one in ten, 
But can be exorcised by the clergy or technicians.

So if you think that some dark force visits you on line 
It may be the devil with your soul upon his mind. 
Now when you hear this story you may choose to laugh or scoff. 
But know you this, the best escape, is turn the damned thing off!

(Chorus) 

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