The Derrymacash Rake by derrymacash


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The Song Challenge: Love And Spots!! Well, Challenge!rs -- Spring has sprung for most of us, and of course, at this time of year, every species experiences a little flutter of the heart and then, well, instinct takes over... Perhaps inspired by his own 'instincts', our own Hyperabid has suggested the Challenge! topic of "first crushes and the opposite sex moving from pain in the *rse to "Why has God blessed me with a sex drive and acne at the same time!??". An excellent and timely suggestion. So, there you go Challenge!rs -- Songs about 'your first love and/or crush'. Now I know we've all gone through this -- let's see what you can put to a tune!.

The Derrymacash Rake by derrymacash
(To the tune of the Limerick Rake)

When I was a boy I played in the bogs
Fishing for eels and capturing frogs
Or fogging in orchards, avoiding the dogs
That guarded the farmers' provisions
And jumping the ditches and kicking the ball
Swing over the river and shin down the wall
But when I turned thirteen, nothing mattered at all
'Cept courtin' and neckin' and kissin'
Weekly we'd gather down at Trasna hop
Where the girls came to boogie and shimmy and bop
And I need hardly tell you, my eyeballs near popped
At the sight of some those honeys
But being a lad, I did as lads do
I clung to the walls and I tried acting cool
Blowing out smoke rings, I looked like a fool
I smile now, but back then it weren't funny

The first time I copped, it was far from romantic
With lust and desire I was feeling quite frantic
I was told from the start there'd be no dirty antics
And so I could take 'er or leave 'er
We kissed and caressed behind Trasna Church
At the end of the night I was left in the lurch
She'd given it thought, her heart she had searched
But she had no call for my favour
From that day to this I've had my head turned
I've had my heart broke and my fingers been burned
I've been taken on board and then I've been spurned
But I doubt if I'm any exception
Since every man's thoughts when he reaches thirteen
Are dictated by lust and the need to be seen
With his arm round the waist of some pretty colleen
Who values his warmth and affection