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SONG CHALLENGE WINNER!
The Song Challenge:
Whilst cleaning up the old Song Challenge! files, getting ready for the Songbook's big move 'home', I found
several Challenge! ideas that seem to be tied together in some, like, ya know, cosmic way, man. ;-)
So, being that goddesses have to be cruel to be kind (oh behave, Amos!), I've decided to raise the bar
for the Whole Bag O' Chips by creating a new award --
The Double Dip Copper Cow Chip (with Sprinkles),
which will be awarded for connecting the dizzying dots between two or more Challenge! ideas in a song for any
Official Double Dip Dare from the Keeper of the Book. And for my first 'Official' Double Dip Dare, please do
not adjust your seat belts and consider the following . . .
Boys who play with their praties . . . -- (OSLO, Norway) Police have confiscated a potentially lethal
home-made cannon capable of firing potatoes up to 160 feet. Six youths in the seaside town of
Kristiansand in southern Norway used instructions on the Internet to build the weapon from everyday household
objects. "This home-made weapon is extremely dangerous both for those using it and those being
fired at," a police spokesman told the newspaper Faedrelandsvennen. The boys loaded potatoes down
a plastic tube, where an electric ignition device from a gas-fuelled barbecue was installed. By spraying
a flammable gas into the tube and sealing the open end with a cap, potatoes were converted into projectiles with
one push of the red ignition button. Police said the cannon was capable of launching any object
similar in size and weight to potatoes.
. . . grow up to be men with issues . . . -- London's Steve Bennett continues his quest to become the world's
most successful amateur rocket engineer, with all systems go for launching himself into space in a "test flight"
(to an altitude of 10,000 feet) in 2003 on a venture that most professional engineers called foolhardy, according
to a June story reported by the BBC. The more that is known about Bennett's mission (e.g., he
recently said it would be a rocket capsule made from a cement mixer, with modest installation and a small
computer), the more rocket scientists believe his launch will result in instant death. However, the
louder the criticism, the more certain of himself Bennett professes to be. He still rejects conventional
preparations such as wind-tunnel tests and g-force tests: "That is what the test flight is for," he said.
De Fence Me In by Jack the Sailor
(Tune: Don't Fence Me In)
Jack's Comments: Now that Mr. Berlin has ceased his subteranian rotation, it is time to start
another songwriter a spinning in his tomb. With apologies to Cole Porter:
Steve Bennett, Feeling mighty brave
Was sitting his hand in his pocket
Dubya said to him, your life I'm gonna save
Don't launch that rocket
(cause we........)
Defend our land and our band
from the missles up above
De fence me in
Make our nuclear threat like a gauntlet in a glove
De fence me in
Let me fire interceptor's like a fried potatoe (Quail Spelling)
To protect ourselves and our friends in Nato
Safe from rogue missles wouldn't that be great, Oh!
De fence me in
So dismantle flying mixer and be quick sir
We don't tolerate rogue states
Launching spuds at the scuds never duds
will make Iraq irate
I want to make empty threats till the Russians test us
No Cuban Commies ever will infest us
The Chinese people also will detest us
De fence me in.