SONG CHALLENGE WINNER!

The Song Challenge:   This Challenge! idea comes from our one and only MMario -- which kinda makes me wonder if he's ever actually been in - Port-a-Potty Peril -- Huntingdon Valley, Pennsylvania, June 15 - Police rescued a man who found himself stuck in the depths of a portable toilet at a recreational field Wednesday afternoon, after he lowered himself inside and couldn't get out. The man, not identified by police, told officers he was trying to retrieve his keys. He was trapped there for at least 45 awful minutes, he told police.   Children playing basketball heard the man calling for help and told their mother. She called township police. Officers arrived about 2:45 p.m. and found the unfortunate man, still shouting and in the toilet's lower chamber up to his hips.  He was naked from the waist down, having taken off his shoes and pants for his unpleasant task.   It took emergency response workers until 3:28 p.m. to extract him, police said, adding that they had to destroy a significant part of the facility in the process. Police could not estimate the cost of the damage.   One he was free, the man was taken to hospital for treatment of cuts and bruises - and to have the wedged-tight toilet seat removed from around his torso.

Deep, Deep John by Bradypus
(Tune: Big, Bad John)

Bradypus' Comments:  The construction is perhaps more French than American, but I won't let the facts get in the way of the song ...

Every year at the park you can see them arrive
They start at nine a.m, and leave at two forty-five
They bring the special tools, perfectly equipped
With everything you need to dig a latrine pit
They dig a john
(Deep, deep john)

And every year that comes, the story's just the same
So it seems perhaps that poor design's to blame
Some poor guy comes in, with pants around his knees
And before you know it, he has lost his keys
In the john
(Deep, deep john)

It's a long way down, further than you'd wish
So you find a stick, and you start to fish
But you can't catch keys on the end of a pole
So they still lying there, at the bottom of the hole
In the john
(Deep, deep john)

You can stick your feet in, wiggle them around
And hope somehow that the keys will be found
But things get worse the more you move your toes
For the horrid smell gets right up your nose
From the john
(Deep, deep john)

If you're really desperate, when you've sworn and cursed
Your final ploy is to go in head first
Someone holds your ankles while you move your arms
That's the best way yet to enjoy the charms
Of the john
(Deep deep john)

Every year at the park you can hear them arrive
With sirens blaring, at a quarter past five
It's the local cops, who with any luck
Will rescue the poor sucker who got stuck
In the john
(Deep, deep john)

Back to Top