SONG CHALLENGE WINNER!

The Song Challenge:   Polly Want a Divorce?  SHANGHAI (Reuters) - A Chinese housewife is seeking divorce claiming the family's talking bird dropped clues on her husband's illicit affair, state media said on Tuesday.  The woman from southwestern Chongqing city said she uncovered the affair when their mynah began saying things like "Divorce," "I love you" and "Be patient" after it overheard the husband's telephone calls with his mistress, the Xinmin Evening News said.  The woman said she noticed the feathered tattle-tale's strange new vocabulary after she returned from a month-long visit with her parents that started in May.  Already suspecting her husband was having an affair, she observed that the bird became particularly talkative whenever the telephone rang, confirming her suspicions, the report said.  Last week she brought the bird to a law office for consultation, hoping it could testify in court.  "Can my mynah be used as witness?" the newspaper quoted her as asking.   Lawyers were not optimistic.  "The judges are unlikely to rule against your husband based only on the mynah's words," attorney Wu Di was quoted as telling her.


Dark as an Oven by Dharmabum
(Sung to Dark as a Dungeon)

Come all you young Minah's
And heed what I tell.
Or you'll end up like me
Roasting in Parrot Hell.
Choose the words wisely
That fly from your beak.
Or you'll meet my demise
And have a future so bleak.

Chorus:
Now it's hot in this oven
Oh what shall I do.
My feathers are plucked
And I'm Thanksgiving stew.
I'll be served with cranberries
And potatoes so sweet.
As I wear paper booties
On my little feet.

I listened intently
When the phone rang.
And then to the Misses
Like a stoolpigeon I sang.
I tattled about
His affair with that slut.
But now I just wish
That I'd kept my trap shut.

Chorus:
Cause I'm stuck in this oven
And my feathers are plucked.
My giblets are burning
And I'm certain I'm fucked.
I'll be served with cranberries
And potatoes so sweet.
As I wear paper booties
On my little feet.

If you don't wanna end up
Swimming in Marinate.
Be careful what you say
When you enunciate.
Be cautious be careful
Heed my warning & word.
You're better off just
Being seen & not heard.

Chorus:
Don't tell of affairs
Of the wife's other half.
You may just end up
Being the fatted calf.
And I cannot think
Of a worse way to go.
While they're eating Parrot
I'm dining on Crow.

If I could go back
I'd be a good little bird.
And I wouldn't tattle
About what I heard.
I'd be so angelic
As I sat in my cage.
Instead of being stuffed
Full of breadcrumbs & sage.

Chorus:
Cause it's dark in this oven
And I cannot see.
And I'm getting dizzy
On this rotisserie.
And I fear that I'll die
By this flame fed with gas.
And it's rather unpleasant
With this stick up my ass.

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