SONG CHALLENGE WINNER!

The Song Challenge:   But I Want To Get To Know You . . . (Hove, East Sussex, England)  A lapdancing club has applied to the local council for a variance to its licence to allow blind patrons to touch performers.   The Pussycats Club in Hove complained that the strict no touching clause in its current licence discriminates against the blind.  Kenneth McGrath, director of the club, took up the issue with Brighton and Hove council after two blind men visited Pussycats with a stag party of sighted friends.   They wanted to touch the girls, explaining that, if they could, it would give them a better idea of what the exotic dancers looked like.  The club's licence forbids any physical contact between dancers and guests except when customers feel the need to place banknotes in the dancer's garters.   Mr. McGrath said: "Both men said they very much enjoyed the dances and sensed highly the proximity of the dancers and, in particular, enjoyed the smell of their perfume.  Given their disability, they felt controlled touching ought to be permitted for registered blind persons only and with the dancer's consent (and) that touching should be voluntary and restricted to the breasts and only when the dancer is wearing a bra and not topless.  The dancer would retain full control, taking one hand of the blind customer and placing it on her breasts while dancing for an agreed time."   A council spokesman said:  "We would consider any application for a variance of the lapdancing licence once we receive it." 

Curvaceous Wimmin by Wailin' Blind Wombat Joe Keeler (a/k/a Amos)
(Tune: Honky Tonk Angels)

I couldn't tell your form when you wuz dancing
An' I couldn't read yer number, for the phone
But there's somethin' I jes' gots to tell you
So I wrote it in the words of this song

Chorus:
Ah diddn' know Gawd made curvaceous wimmin
Ah been blinder'n a bat since I was new
Praise the Lord that they now allow touching!
Cuz it let me use my Braille techniques on you!

I was drawn inter yore club by all the music
And the laughing and the smells seemed pretty fine
And it weren't no darker than whut Ah was used to,
An' as I sat there I had one thing on my mind

(Chorus)

Well, I heard the City Council got enlightened
An' took pity on the poor folks who is blind
So Ah called out for the pretty dancer, Sookie
Cuz that one thing sure was heavy on my mind!

(Chorus)

Now Miss Sookie she was glad to be obligin'
An' she came up close an' whispered sweet an' more;
But when I set to learn some more about her,
Well, I nearly dropped poor Sookie on the floor! 'Cuz…

(Chorus)

Now, Ah'm getting used to this great revelation!
An' I think I like the new perspective more.
Cuz there's something but them gentle curves pneumatic
Which will always call me back, dear, to your door!

(Chorus)

An' Miss Sookie, well she says that she adores me,
Jes' as long as I will shout her one now an' then.
An' she says she thinks my Braille investigations
Are much better than she gets from other men!

(Chorus)

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