Crapper With the Golden Top by mousethief


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The Song Challenge: Yes, Virginia, There Really Is A Pot O' Gold! -- (HONG KONG, China) A Hong Kong jeweler has opened his doors to what is possibly the world's most glamorous convenience -- a glittering golden bathroom complete with two 24-carat solid gold toilets. Having learned in school that Lenin had wanted to make gold toilets for the Russian people, Lam Sai-wing says he had long dreamed of creating the ultimate in lavish loos. Now the owner of a successful jewelers, Lam has finally turned his ideal dream into a $4.9 million reality. Replete with gold wash basins, toilet brushes, toilet paper holders, mirrors, chandeliers and even wall tiles and doors made of solid gold, the 45-year old businessman calls his creation "a combination of my thoughts and ideals". Inside the ceiling of the "ancient Roman-style" washroom is encrusted with ruby, sapphire, emerald and amber. However, visitors to Lam's luxury lavatory will find that it is open only to an exclusive few. Potential users will have to spend at least HK$1,000 (U.S.$138) on jewelry for the privilege to relieve themselves amid the finery. The restroom was not to everyone's taste though. "It's too wasteful, said one visitor. Others who had the opportunity to make a dazzling deposit were more appreciative of the marketing concept behind the convenience. Wang Xifeng, a visitor from mainland China, said she appreciated Lenin's vision and Lam's realization of it. "It's a good selling point," she said with a smile. "It's a dream come true." For a peek at the pot, click here!

Crapper With the Golden Top by mousethief
(Tune: Surrey With the Fringe On Top)

When you sit right down tonight, to pee
Honey here's the way it's goin' to be:
You will set upon a gleaming golden toilet
In the slickest john you ever see!

Gents and dames and kids look so dapper
When they're sitting down on the crapper
When they're sitting down on the crapper with the golden top!
Watch that gold and see how it glistens
When you're sitting there just a-pissin'
But you must spend big for permission in the jewelry shop

The seat is golden, the basin is too
The faucet is 24 karat
With all the accessories money can buy
Lam Sai-wing has the cash and don't spare it!

Body piercings scrape, scratch and spoil it
People who can't aim sometimes soil it
Soil that first-class, world-class toilet at the jewelry shop
But my butt looks damn' fine and proper
Nothing here is made out of copper
On the shining, gleaming crapper with the gol-den-top!