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SONG CHALLENGE WINNER!
The Song Challenge: Lost your 'Olympic' spirit? Here's a little story that should help to inspire all of us to 'go for the gold' . . . So, Go For It
Challenge!rs!! Thirty contestants from around the globe recently gathered in London for the second annual round of the Official World Dung Spitting Championships. CNN's Amanda Kibel was there to witness the 'action':
"It might not be the most physically demanding sport in the world, but mentally, it's a real challenge. All you need, say competitors, is a good lung capacity, limber lips, a strong mind and stomach, and a prime pellet of animal dung. The aim of the game is simple: overcome the resistance to placing the dung in your mouth and then, spit it out.
The all-important dung selection is first, and the competition was fierce for pieces of the finest droppings, gathered on a game farm in Africa, yielded by the Kudu, a small deer-like animal. And clearly, not just any old dung will do. A worthy pellet must be firm, not crumbly, and preferably, not too fresh.
As the first training session unfolded, interest from some passersby was high, but controversy dogged this competition from the start. One woman passerby commented, "You're spitting! And there's a rule about spitting in this country.
There is, there's a bylaw about spitting." The games must go on. Competition day dawned, and competitors embarked on the vital warm-ups (gulping large portions of golden ale and dark stout). Mouths well lubricated, they spit their best, but in the end, it's a sudden-death playoff.
The Dungmeister, the reigning champion, the man who, in the past, has spat a mighty ten meters, faces off against an unknown, a rank outsider! A new champion is born, and he pays tribute to his technique: "I use the little pointed end (of the dung) towards the back. That seems to work."
But it takes more than just technique. Dung spitters say that what it's really all about is a simple case of mind over waste matter."
Copro-Expectorant Blues by Praise
I was back in London, baby, and I was thinkin' of you.
I was back in London, baby, and I was thinkin' of you.
I was broke and all downhearted,
And thinkin' what to do.
Well I heard about a contest, and I wanted first prize.
Yes I heard about a contest, and I wanted first prize.
When I saw just what they wanted, though,
I nearly popped my eyes.
So I got a country rabbit, and I fed him real fine.
Yes I got a country rabbit, and I fed him real fine.
Gotta feed him good and proper,
And serve with just the right wine.
Then I fed him cake and honey, till his droppings smelled sweet.
Yes I fed him cake and honey, darlin', till his droppings smelled real sweet.
'Bout as sweet as your goodbye, babe,
The day you knocked me off my feet.
Well I dried them in the oven, and I called your name.
Oh I dried them in the over, baby, I was cryin' your name.
Tried to put my head in that oven, too,
But saved my anger for the game.
And the day dawned bright and early, and I took my place.
Yes the day dawned bright and early, and I took my place.
Been so mad ever since you left me,
Spat that anger out my face.
Ole Bre'r Rabbit dung went flyin', see this madman spit.
Yes Bre'r Rabbit dung went flyin', see this madman spit.
Specially thinkin' about his true love, darlin',
When she turn his world to shit.
Now I am the new Dungmeister, but honey I don't know.
Yes I am the new Dungmeister, but honey I don't know.
You know I was only spittin' on your sorry ass baby,
Rememberin' watchin' you go.
I won't defend my title when it comes due next year.
No I won't defend my title when it comes due next year.
Cuz by then I'll have a new song,
And you can stick it in your ear.