Come Back Father Christmas to Palmerston North by derrymacash


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Kiwis Put The Kebash On Santa's Ho –– Father Christmas has been told to stop saying: "ho ho ho" in New Zealand because it frightens children. Sian Barber, of Westaff Recruitment, which is finding Santas for shopping malls, told The Dominion newspaper that the traditional shout was scary. "We're trying to divert them off going 'ho ho ho'. . . for some children it can seem a bit ferocious," she said. Instead, in this new, sensitive age, Santas are being taught that talking to children the right way was important, as was the ability to listen, show patience, warmth and understanding. "We need someone who has an affinity with children, someone who can really understand the importance of what they represent," Ms Barber said. "That's important for the children, and for the mall owners because they are big drawcards."

Come Back Father Christmas to Palmerston North by derrymacash (An open letter from the Prime Minister of New Zealand)
(To the tune – of course – of Come Back Paddy Reilly To Ballyjamesduff)

derrymacash's Comments: A thing to ponder. While writing this, I found myself remarking on the similarity in structure between "Old Shep" and "Ballyjamesduff". Are they, by chance, related? In the following, "Z" is pronounced as "zee" rather than "zed" . . . .

On behalf of my colleagues I'm sorry to say
We've been hasty and silly and brash
To allow our curmudgeonly humours to rise
They infected us all like a rash
We're fighting a battle, between heart and head
And sought to see logic prevail
But we're missing your presence in Palmerston North
And our children, they weep and they wail
And tones that are tender and tones that are gruff
Are whispering over the sea
Come back Father Christmas to Palmerston North
Come back Santa Claus to NZ

My mother told me the day I was born
The day that I first saw the light
To strive to be proper in all that I do
In all that I do, to do right
And if I'm in error, then not to deny
To admit and to say I regret
And to beg the forgiveness of those who I've wronged
Hoping if they'll forgive, they'll forget
The baby's a man, now he's toil-worn and tough
And he can't help but offer this plea
Come back Father Christmas to Palmerston North
Come back Santa Claus to NZ

When I was a boy � I remember it yet!
The high drama of each Christmas Eve.
That you would appear when I was asleep
I didn't once doubt, but believed
And awakened each Christmas, delighted to find
You'd visited as I had slept
As I was dreaming my innocent dreams
Your promise to visit you'd kept
Oh sweet are the dreams as the dudeen I puff
Of whisperings over the sea
Come back Father Christmas to Palmerston North
Come back Santa Claus to NZ

So if we've been thoughtless and tasteless and cruel
And callous and ugly and base
I'm hoping you'll find in your generous soul
The will to grant us some grace
From this moment onwards I solemnly swear
You'll be our most welcome of guests
And never again shall we quibble or carp
You do what you do, and do best
So forget all the clamour, the gas and the guff
That whispered its way 'cross the sea
Come back Father Christmas to Palmerston North
Come back Santa Claus to NZ