SONG CHALLENGE WINNER!

The Song Challenge:   It's the Great 2000 Booga Booga Halloween Challenge! Get your holey sheets and brooms out for:  Drop-Dead Decor (Terre Haute, Indiana) -- An online company is digging for Halloween business with a line of furniture that would make the Addams Family envious. Your Coffin Company builds and sells coffins to consumers eager to give their home decor a distinctive flair. The company has devised 101 uses for the average wooden coffin -- aside from the usual purpose -- including as a coffee table, wine rack, bookshelf and entertainment center. "We decided ... this was the ultimate conversation piece. We have a motto that you should get to know your coffin before you're buried in it," said Brad Miller, co-owner of the online company. The coffins, made from oak or maple wood, start at $389 for a basic, no-frills model. Miller said their web site averages about 50,000 visitors a day, some of whom have sought phone booth coffins and even coffin beds. (Click here to see pics of the Lovely Coffin Twins - I wonder if they do in-home installation?).


Coffin's Lament by Bradypus

Bradypus' Comments:  It might help if you explore the website Aine mentioned to get some of the references in this one. The tune, I hope, is obvious ...

As I walked out in Terre Haute, Indiana
As I walked out in Terre Haute one fine day
I spied an old coffin, abandoned and rotten
Lonely and loveless by the roadside it lay

Chorus
O beat the drum slowly and play the fife lowly
Play the dead march as you bury me down
Take me to the blue yonder, put me six good feet under
For I'm an old coffin, though once of renown

"I see by your outfit that you are a sexton"
These words it did say as I slowly stepped by
"Come sit down beside me and hear my sad story
You see an old coffin, and your wondering why"

"When I was new fangled, my makers, they angled
To sell people coffins before they grew old
So with twins in bikinis, in many odd scenes this
New coffin would star, all bright burnished and bold."

"This Coffin's a dresser, this coffin's a table
This coffin's a boat, or an odd shaped canoe
This coffin's a horse trough beside an old stable
This coffin's a tree-house, a sled, a bed too."

"And that's how I came to be star of the web-site
That's how I came to know stardom and fame
Fame went to my head, as with many before me
And now I'm discarded, I know who to blame."

"At last came the day when the shooting was ended
This coffin's a coffin, and nothing beside
I lay in the house, polished, loved and admired
I lay in the house until Uncle Harry died."

"But that was the day when I felt no elation
That was the day when this coffin felt spurned
I shuddered when first I did hear of cremation
A coffin like me simply shouldn't be burned!"

"I slipped from the hearse on the way to the parlour
I spilled out my load, and I rolled away free
The body they found, but the coffin was spoiled
They collected the body, forgot about me."

"And now that I realise that fame is so fickle
Now that I know where a coffin should go
No more I'll worry, I'll have a good burial
Please, Mr Sexton, O make it be so!"

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