Clare's Favorite Things by MMario


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What A Fella Will Do For A Good Irish Stew! . . . A house burglar in South London ignored a video recorder, mobile phones and other valuables – but stole a pan of Irish stew. Clare Wilson, from Mitcham, made the dish for the next day's dinner, then left it on her oven and went to bed. The next morning it had vanished, but nothing else had been taken. Ms. Wilson, a mum of four, told The Sun: "I know my cooking is good but this is ridiculous. It's unbelievable someone would just take a stew when all that stuff was lying about the place. I'm considering putting out reward posters asking people if they've seen my stew pot. I've been making stew for over 20 years in that pot, and I'm a bit annoyed. I've got several others, but it was my favourite. It's just the right size for all the family. The thief must have tasted the food first because I found dollops of it around the top of the stove." Ms. Wilson's sons, Brian, 20, and Scott, 19, swear they did not eat the stew after getting in from the pub – they had a kebab on the way home. The back door had been forced open, so Ms. Wilson reported the crime to Mitcham police. She said: "The thief should have just knocked on the door. I'd have invited them along for dinner. There would have been enough for everyone."

Clare's Favorite Things by MMario
(Tune:"Raindrops on Roses")

Onions and Guiness and chunks of fresh beef
Or use some lamb, you choose the meat
Pot in the oven, the heat turned on low
That's how to make Irish Stew, don't you know?

Some people add turnips and other add 'taters
But only an idjit would add in termater's
Add salt and pepper, perhaps a bay leaf
But don't get fancy or you'll come to grief

When I went to bed the stew was a-simmer
I thought I would serve it the next night for dinner
The thief he came in and he tasted the lot
Then he absconded with the stew, and MY POT!

If I find him, I may kill him
I could make more stew
But the stew-pot was gramma's, the really old kind
The one thing of hers, now, mine!

That stew-pot of gramma's was my family treasure
With it I never had the need to measure
Without it I really don't know what I'll do
The next time I need to make an Irish stew.

Why'd the thief take it, and not my TV?
That would have been, more welcome to me!
The police they say they will never find it,
My answer to them, a resounding "Oh shit!"

If I find him, I will kill him
This is not about stew!
He walked in and walked out with my old stew pot
Now I must make do, with new!