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SONG CHALLENGE WINNER!
Kiwis Put The Kebash On Santa's Ho –– Father Christmas has been told to stop saying: "ho ho ho" in New Zealand because it frightens children. Sian Barber, of Westaff Recruitment, which is finding Santas for shopping malls, told The Dominion newspaper that the traditional shout was scary. "We're trying to divert them off going 'ho ho ho'. . . for some children it can seem a bit ferocious," she said. Instead, in this new, sensitive age, Santas are being taught that talking to children the right way was important, as was the ability to listen, show patience, warmth and understanding. "We need someone who has an affinity with children, someone who can really understand the importance of what they represent," Ms Barber said. "That's important for the children, and for the mall owners because they are big drawcards."
Can't Be Santa by Jack the Sailor
Who's got a beard that's long and white?
Santa's got a beard that's long and white.
Who comes around on a special night?
Santa comes around on a special night.
Special night, beard that's white,
Must be Santa must be Santa,
Must be Santa, Santa Claus.
(Sian Barber, of Westaff Recruitment hereby announces that, since a long white beard can seem intimidating, the Long White Beard provision is recinded as is the special night requirement)
Who wears boots and a suit of red?
Santa wears boots and a suit of red.
Who wears a long cap on his head?
Santa wears a long cap on his head.
Cap on head, suit that's red,
Special night, beard that's white,
Must be Santa must be Santa,
Must be Santa, Santa Claus.
(Red Suits and Caps tend to strain young eyes. Black with taseful sequins would be better)
Who's got a big red cherry nose?
Santa's got a big red cherry nose.
Who laughs this way:
HO HO HO?
Santa laughs this way:
HO HO HO!
HO HO HO, cherry nose,
Cap on head, suit that's red,
Special night, beard that's white,
Must be Santa must be Santa,
Must be Santa, Santa Claus.
(Here are two of our biggest issues, the big red cherry nose can denote a white man with alcholism, We also have a problem with how overweight and we feel he should be more pan-racial, also We're trying to divert him off going 'ho ho ho'. . . for some children it can seem a bit ferocious.)
Who very soon will come our way?
Santa very soon will come our way.
Eight little reindeer pull his sleigh,
Santa's little reindeer pull his sleigh.
Reindeer sleigh, come our way,
HO HO HO, cherry nose,
Cap on head, suit that's red,
Special night, beard that's white,
Must be Santa, must be Santa,
Must be Santa, Santa Claus.
Dasher, Dancer, Prancer, Vixen,
Comet, Cupid, Donner and Blitzen.
(We feel that the whole reindeer thing discriminates against other animals, he should have a whole menagerie)
Reindeer sleigh, come our way,
HO HO HO, cherry nose,
Cap on head, suit that's red,
Special night, beard that's white,
Must be Santa, must be Santa,
Must be Santa, Santa Claus!
(So it should be)
Managerie, made for me,
Quiet voice, Thinner Nose,
No red cap, dressed in black,
A little weird, sans the beard
They want Michael, They want Michael
They want Michael, Jack---son
Ho sqeak! Ho sqeak! Ho sqeak!