Burned Then Spurned by Johnny Ash (a/k/a derrymacash)


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Grandma Got Run Over By A Reindeer, But Rita Got Returned To Wal-Mart OMAHA, Nebraska (Reuters) - A Nebraska woman who received an ornate box for Christmas and returned it to Wal-Mart without looking inside discovered later it contained the ashes of her recently deceased sister, a newspaper reported on Friday. Judy Money received the box as a gift from her brother who lives in Iowa. But after unwrapping the package on Christmas Eve she saw the box had a broken knob and decided to return it to Wal-Mart without ever looking at the contents inside, the Omaha World-Herald reported. When Money later confessed to her brother that she had returned his gift, he told her the box contained the ashes of their sister, who had died Dec. 11, the Herald said. Marvin Tippery, Money's brother, told the Herald he was shocked when he found out she had returned the box. "No, no, you didn't! Your sister was in there," the Herald quoted him as telling Money. Money told the Herald she made a mad dash back to Wal-Mart, but the box had already been thrown out with the trash. Money and her brother finally found the box on Thursday amid trash piles at an area landfill. "My prayers have been answered," she told the Herald. "Just the thought of having her in the dump was awful."

Burned Then Spurned by Johnny Ash (a/k/a derrymacash)

derrymacash's Comments: A skit on "Ring of Fire"

Death is a dreadful thing
With the threat of the fiery sting
I went not gentle, went not mild
Ooooh, and the fire went wild

CHORUS:
I fell into a burning ring of fire
I went down, down, and the flames leapt higher
I've been burned then spurned
The ring of fire
The ring of fire

Sister Judy's sweet
I think. We don't much meet.
She lives out in Omaha
Me I moved to Iowa

CHORUS

But Sister Judy, she was miffed
What a crappy Christmas gift
Just a box that's full of ash
I think I'll chuck it in the trash

CHORUS

When she found out her mistake
Sister Judy's heart did break
But then for joy did Judy jump
Found my box at the city dump

CHORUS

Now Sister Judy's built a shrine
Got a little light that shines
My remains are on display
Until Judy's dying day

CHORUS