SONG CHALLENGE WINNER!

The Song Challenge:   The Case of the Crazed Cookie Crusher -- (Yardley, Pennsylvania) For three years the managers in the three supermarkets kept finding shelves of crumbled cookies and smashed loaves of bread.  A cookie company finally installed a hidden camera turned on the cookie aisle at a Giant supermarket.  That led to the arrest and conviction of Samuel Feldman, 37, on charges of disorderly conduct and criminal mischief, and a fine of $1,000.  Both prosecutors and defense attorneys appeared in court with bags of sweet-smelling evidence. The prosecution with bruised buns and crushed cookies, and the defense with unmangled goodies used to demonstrate their client's squeezing technique.  Although Mr. Feldman claimed his innocence, saying 'I squeeze bread when I go to the store, but I don't get arrested for it," the judge said that the 18-hour videotape clearly showed Feldman "manipulating bread and cookies" and "acting suspiciously around the baked goods."  A local reporter commented that the videotape showed Mr. Feldman waiting until his wife's back was turned, and only then would he begin bashing the bread.  "He apparently loved to stick his thumbs in the middle of the fruit-filled cookies.  The impressions were so distinct, the police were able to use them to lift his fingerprints."   Judge Heckler has postponed the sentencing hearing to give Mr. Feldman, who now lives in Las Vegas, time to find "a mental health professional who is familiar with bread-related compulsive behavior."  Meanwhile, the bread and cookie distributors still want their dough, and are planning to sue Mr. Feldman in civil court to recover $8,000, the amount of baked goods they claim that he vandalized over the three year period.

Bread Squeezin' Blues by Bradypus

I got the bread squeezin' blues, babe
I got them all the day
Until I find a loaf to squeeze
These blues won't go away.

I take the bread and squeeze it
It makes me feel so good
And when I find some buns to squeeze
It eases up my mood

Obsessive compulsive disorder
Sing it if you can
Cos baby, I'm an obsessive, compulsive
Disorderly breadsqueezin' man

I found a bag of cookies
I gave the bag a squeeze
Some mudcatters lost their cookies
Well, they won't be wantin' these

The security camera caught me
My excuses all sound lame
But now that I'm on film, you see
I've got bread squeezin' fame

They said 'Why did you do it
Why squeeze the bread just so ?'
I tell them why I do it
It's because I need the dough

They got a court psychiatrist
To look inside my head
She said that all my brains looked just
Like blue mouldy squeezed bread

Bread squeezing blues, dear
I don't think I'm mad
Squeezin' bread and cookies
Is the only fun I've had

Don't give me no whisky
Lovin' me's no use
There ain't a cure in all the earth 
For bad bread squeezin' blues

Oh Yeah !!!!

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