The Little Boys Are Back In Town by derrymacash


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E-E-E-E-EEK! The Elves Are Armed And Claus Is Wearing Kevlar! -- Santas will be feeling oh-so-secure from rowdy children at shopping malls this year, now that the Freeport Leisure company is employing personal bodyguards for their costumed St. Nicks at their six factory outlet sites. The company is also telling their red-clad employees to wear extra padding. A company spokesman told the Evening Gazette: "Last year Santa received a number of tugs and pulls from over-exuberant children, which led to him getting a bit roughed up." "And there was an incident at one of the centres last year where there was a bit more to it than that. So this year we have decided to give Santa a bit of extra protection." Tindi Sorber, group marketing manager for Freeport Leisure, said children would still be encouraged to tug Santa's beard as part of the Christmas tradition. "We don't mind a tug - in fact we encourage it. It's all part of the Christmas tradition. However, last year Santa reported the odd bruise, so we've heeded his call and left nothing to chance," he said.

The Little Boys Are Back In Town by derrymacash

derrymacash's Comments: Here's a skit on an old Thin Lizzy classic, which I always thought was nasty even in its original form.

Guess who just got back today
Those little boys who've been away
They haven't changed, haven't much to say
But man I still think those kids are crazy
They were asking if you were around
How you was, where you could be found
I told them you were working downtown
Wearing a false beard, yeah
The boys are back in town

You know that kid with the 6 inch blade?
Every day he'd get that knife
And wag it in your face
Man when I say he was naughty
He was a sociopath
I mean truly psychotic
That time at the grotto
This kid pulled the beard clean off Santa's face
Man we just fell about the place
How were we to know it was for real, eh?
The boys are back in town, spread the word around

Friday night we'll be dressed to kill
School's broke up, you know the drill
Milk will flow and blood will spill
If the boys wanna fight you better let 'em
Muzak in the shopping centre jingling out those corny songs
When we do over Santa Claus, it won't be long
It won't be long 'till Easter comes
And we can beat up that ol' Easter Bunny again