Bottom-Baring Briefs Overflowing by Genie


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Brit Flits Nix Knicks! London (August 2001) -- Female athletes competing for Britain in the World Championships say their official team knickers are too skimpy. The runners are worried they will be flashing their bottoms at spectators. Officials say they don't want athletes to feel uncomfortable and have allowed them to wear last year's Olympic kit. Kathy Butler, who is competing in the 5000m at the championships in Canada, says the small knickers have left athletes with a dilemma. "If you pull them up you can see your bum and when you pull them down you can see your hips. They just don't fit properly," she said. She added: "I can't find my old Olympic ones, so I'll be wearing the hipsters." A spokesman for UK Athletics said that officials have given the all-clear for runners to wear last year's design. "Something had to be done. We can't ask our top athletes to run 25 laps wearing something they feel uncomfortable in," he said.

Bottom-Baring Briefs Overflowing by Genie
(Tune: Loch Lomond)

My young bonnie flanks
and my young buns ablaze
As the sun shines bright on our runnin',
Well, me and my teammates, we really want the gold
But our bottom-baring briefs are disgruntling!

Chorus:
Oh some get the high view and some get the low view
And near beaver shots they afford you,
But me and my teammates will never meet our ends
In these bottom-baring briefs overflowing.

Our butt cheeks are parted by bun-chafing pants
And the cheap-seat oglers are drooling.
While we circle true our "hieland hills" they view
And the 'moon's' comin' out when we're rolling!

Chorus:
Oh some get the high view and some get the low view
And near beaver shots they afford you,
But me and my teammates will never meet our ends
In these bottom-baring briefs overflowing.

The young ladies plead and the UKA takes heed,
"You can wear last year's knickers for this oddyssey;
It's a championship stint where seconds cost the win
And the runner must not falter out of modesty."

Chorus:
Oh some got the high view and some got the low view,
But no more our butts we'll be showin',
No, me and my teammates run no more meets again
In these bottom-baring briefs overflowing.