SONG CHALLENGE WINNER!

No Room On The Xerox For Virgin Berths -- Bosses at Sir Richard Branson's Virgin Mobile scuppered plans to have photocopiers at their Christmas party so staff could scan their bottoms.  The idea was to recreate a television advertisement for the firm featuring former All Saints star Melanie Blatt, in which she does the same.  But the stunt was dropped after the company's legal advisers stepped in and ruled it unsafe.  More than 1,000 Virgin Mobile employees attended the firm's Christmas party on Tuesday at a nightclub in the Wiltshire town of Trowbridge.  It featured performances from the pop group Liberty and DJ Boy George.  A spokeswoman for the firm said she had heard about the idea to install reinforced photocopiers in the club as a gag after the success of the advertisement.  She said she understood it had come from someone else in their communications department, but was rejected by legal experts.  "Somebody had been talking about it early on, but it wouldn't have been allowed for legal reasons," the spokeswoman said. "It's unfortunate because it would be a good laugh."  And it appears that the ban-the-bums barristers might have an ally in the form of Officials at the Royal Society for the Prevention of Accidents, who say workers risk cutting themselves on broken copier glass.  They say the Virgin mobile phone ad of Melanie Blatt photocopying her backside is "daft and irresponsible".  Spokesman Roger Vincent is warning office workers not to be tempted to make photocopied backsides "this year's festive trend".  He told The Sun: "Inhibitions are loosened after a few drinks and people show off. We don't want copying backsides to become this year's festive trend.  "Someone could find themselves in a hospital casualty ward this Christmas instead of at home with their families.  "Sitting on a photocopier is very dangerous. We don't want to be killjoys but advise people to stick to good old-fashioned mistletoe."


Genie, since you asked for more, This one is based upon . . . .

Boney Fingers by Jack the Sailor
(Recorded by Hoyt Axton; Words and music by Renee Armand and Hoyt Axton)

See the bottom come down and the glass won't hold 'er
At my job and I feel a little bolder
Copier's running and the glass ain't getting colder
But maybe I'll be hung over in the mornin', in the mornin'
Maybe I'll need to drink a little bitters

Oh the fuser needs replacing and there's no toner
So Joe can't make a copy of his boner
No wonder that he is such a loner
Maybe he'll wake with Sally, in the morning
Maybe things'll get a little better.

Check out the output trays -Whadda ya get?
(Whoo-whoo) Boney Asses - Boney Asses.

Yea! I've had a pretty ass as long as I remember
It's firm but then the skin is soft and tender
I'm taking copies that I'm gonna send her
Sayin' maybe she'll touch my bootie, in the mornin'
Maybe things'll get a little better.

Its great to colate -Whadda ya get?
(Whoo-whoo) Boney Asses - Boney Asses.

I don't like the exposure the copy lamp's too hot
The whole darn world is goin' to pot
We'd would expose our buttocks, the lawyers say we're not
But, maybe they will let us, in the mornin'
Maybe things'll get a little better.

Whe you try to cover liability -Whadda ya get?
(Whoo-whoo) Boney Asses - Boney Asses.

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