SONG CHALLENGE WINNER!

The Song Challenge:   This Challenge! was suggested by sophocleese (thanks!). If you're getting those summertime doldrums (or wintertime doldrums, if you're one of our NZ/OZ friends), here's a frisky little Challenge! that ought to blow those doldrums right away (hehehehehe):   So A Man Walks Into A Bar With A Fox Under His Arm And... -- "This whole story has been blown out of all proportion," said a spokeswoman for the Over and Sons garage in Aspatria. "It's true that last week a man walked onto our forecourt in the Market Place with a fox under his arm, pushed the nozzle of the compressed air line into the animal's rectum, put 20p in the slot, and pumped it until it exploded. But what the newspaper reports didn't mention was that the animal was already dead."   The spokeswoman explained that the garage had been under siege for several days following reports about the incident. A report appeared in the local paper, talking about 'this sickening and horrible act,' and next day the nasty phone calls started. Animal rights activists even threatened to make reprisal attacks on the garage, and more staff were called in.   But what had really happened was that an amateur taxidermist had brought the dead fox in, and asked if he could pump some air between the fur and the skin, to loosen the pelt. After apparently 'overdoing' it a bit, he then ran away in embarrassment. The garage's spokeswoman continued, "It ought to be obvious to anyone that the animal couldn't have been alive. I mean, it's hard enough to even hold a live fox, let alone insert an air-line up its rectum.  I should imagine."   Police later confirmed that they had spoken to a man about the incident. "We are convinced that no criminal act has taken place, but we did warn him about the inadvisability of inflating animals in a public place." 

Blownapart's Retreat by Dharmabum
(Tune:  Blow The Man Down) 

Come all ye young students of taxidermy, 
Way hay blow the fox up, 
I'll tell of the fate that has befallen me, 
Give me more pressure to blow the fox up. 

As a hobby I stuffed little critters you see, 
Way hay blow the fox up, 
From Kudu to Raccoon to fish from the sea, 
Give me more pressure to blow the fox up. 

One day a man brought me a big wooden box, 
Way hay blow the fox up, 
I lifted the lid & inside was a fox, 
Give me more pressure to blow the fox up. 

He said "I just bagged him way out in the west" 
Way hay blow the fox up, 
I want you to stuff him cause I hear your'e the best, 
Give me more pressure to blow the fox up. 

"I am pretty good tho' myself do I say" 
Way hay blow the fox up, 
"Why I once stuffed a mermaid all the way from Norway" 
Give me more pressure to blow the fox up. 

"This little grey fox ain't no challange I said" 
Way hay blow the fox up, 
"And I won't have to kill him cause he's already dead" 
Give me more pressure to blow the fox up. 

Now the first step you see is to strip off the pelt, 
Way hay blow the fox up, 
And to use some air pressure was the best way I felt, 
Give me more pressure to blow the fox up. 

So it's off to the forecourt with a fox in my arm, 
Way hay blow the fox up, 
I'll just use a little it'll do him no harm, 
Give me more pressure to blow the fox up. 

There's a knot in the hose, somebody had kinked her, 
Way hay blow the fox up, 
I got it untied & shoved it right up his sphincter, 
Give me more pressure to blow the fox up. 

I thought this a good time that I could inspect him, 
Way hay blow the fox up, 
While the air hose was pumping the pounds up his rectum, 
Give me more pressure to blow the fox up. 

His eyes started poppin, his belly was swellin, 
Way hay blow the fox up, 
His body was getting as big as a mellon, 
Give me more pressure to blow the fox up. 

Before I could stop it that critter let loose, 
Way hay blow the fox up, 
And fur was a flyin like crap through a goose, 
Give me more pressure to blow the fox up. 

A crowd gathered round, about they were millin, 
Way hay blow the fox up, 
Then someone shouted"Hey a fox he's been killin", 
Give me more pressure to blow the fox up. 

Another one shouted "He's gotta be nuts", 
Way hay blow the fox up, 
As I stood there all covered in fur & in guts, 
Give me more pressure to blow the fox up. 

I ran for my home & I didn't look back, 
Way hay blow the fox up, 
Because that angry mob was about to attack, 
Give me more pressure to blow the fox up. 

I locked my front door & I thanked god in heaven, 
Way hay blow the fox up, 
As granny stood guard with her 357, 
Give me more pressure to blow the fox up. 

Locked myself in the john & as I turned the key, 
Way hay blow the fox up, 
Thought,"I coulda been dead like my uncle Harry", 
Give me more pressure to blow the fox up. 

I'm locked in my bathroom cause I'm riddled with fear, 
Way hay blow the fox up, 
I'll just eat M&Ms & drink Osaka beer, 
Give me more pressure to blow the fox up. 

So hear my stern warning you lads & you lasses, 
Way hay blow the fox up, 
Don't ever pump air up small critters asses, 
Give me more pressure to blow the fox up. 

Find a safe hobby that keeps you close to your homes, 
Way hay blow the fox up, 
Like joining the Mudcat or collecting garden gnomes, 
Give me more pressure to blow the fox up. 

Áine told me to write some more words for this song, 
Way hay what is it all for, 
Time to drink Wild turkey cause it's getting too long, 
I can't stand the pressure, can't write anymore. 

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