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The Song Challenge:   But I Want To Get To Know You . . . (Hove, East Sussex, England)  A lapdancing club has applied to the local council for a variance to its licence to allow blind patrons to touch performers.   The Pussycats Club in Hove complained that the strict no touching clause in its current licence discriminates against the blind.  Kenneth McGrath, director of the club, took up the issue with Brighton and Hove council after two blind men visited Pussycats with a stag party of sighted friends.   They wanted to touch the girls, explaining that, if they could, it would give them a better idea of what the exotic dancers looked like.  The club's licence forbids any physical contact between dancers and guests except when customers feel the need to place banknotes in the dancer's garters.   Mr. McGrath said: "Both men said they very much enjoyed the dances and sensed highly the proximity of the dancers and, in particular, enjoyed the smell of their perfume.  Given their disability, they felt controlled touching ought to be permitted for registered blind persons only and with the dancer's consent (and) that touching should be voluntary and restricted to the breasts and only when the dancer is wearing a bra and not topless.  The dancer would retain full control, taking one hand of the blind customer and placing it on her breasts while dancing for an agreed time."   A council spokesman said:  "We would consider any application for a variance of the lapdancing licence once we receive it." 

Blind John by Bradypus

In old Hove town they do lap dancing
Pussycats' club's the place to go
I love to go there for a party
Do I see much? The answer's no
O No, John, No John, No John, No 

The reason I can't see the dancers
If you really want to know
I've been blind since I was born
So these sights I must forgo
O No, John, No John, No John, No 

I can hear the music playing
Bold and brassy, soft and slow
I can swell sweet perfume wafting
I can sense the girls' warm glow
O No, John, No John, No John, No 

Hove Town Council has a ruling
Men can look, but must not touch
I can't see, it's so frustrating
A quick feel would mean so much
O No, John, No John, No John, No 

Sir, you know, I have a garter
On my thigh it's tied around
That you are allowed to touch sir
To deposit twenty pound
Else No, John, No John, No John, No !

Madam, bless you for your garter
Tied somewhere above your knee
If my hand should miss the garter
Would you think it amiss of me ?
O No, John, No John, No John, No 

So with banknote in my hand, I
Stretched and had a grope around
Felt her bosom, felt her body
Felt her all for twenty pound!
O No, John, No John, No John, No 

All my friends with indignation
Have another point of view
Try to claim discrimination -
They would like to feel her too
O No, John, No John, No John, No 

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