SONG CHALLENGE WINNER!

The Song Challenge:  An Official Double Dip Dare . . . -- Dare One:  When This Pig Gets Pumped . . . -- A pot-bellied pig sank his teeth into the leg of a burglar who was trying to rob his owner.   Arnold, who weighs 21 stone, also stopped a burglar from getting into a neighbour's house by biting him.   The animal has become a celebrity among police officers in his home town of Minneapolis.   Arnold first showed his crime fighting abilities when his owner Becky Moyer spotted burglars in her garage.  She told the Star Tribune: "There were two guys in there.   One of them put something in my back that felt like a gun, and they said they wanted my purse.  I said my purse was in the house.  When we went in, I screamed for Arnold, and he got up and grabbed the guy by the leg.  He yelled, 'There's a pig in here!' and ran.  There was blood all over."  She added: "The police gave him that 'crime-fighter' name.  When they're in the neighbourhood, they like to stop by and pet him."  Arnold was a present from her boyfriend.   "Some people get lingerie," she said. "I got a pig."  Dare Two:  . . . The Police Get Pissed . . . -- A Florida policeman who caught a trouble-making pig after a 300-yard chase had to call for back-up to help him keep it under 'arrest'.  Ocala officer Carl Dunlap managed to hold on to the 14-stone pig's ears and hind legs but said he was afraid the pig would wriggle free.   Three fellow officers arrived on the scene and managed to herd it on to a trailer.   Residents had complained the pig had been destroying property.  "He spotted the hog, chased him for about 300 yards and finally was able to wrestle him to the ground,'' said Captain Robert Douglas, who heard his shouts for help over the radio.  Minutes later, Captain Douglas, Captain Mike Deen and Deputy John Shivley arrived on the scene to help Dunlap end the struggle.  "The first thing Dunlap said was that he sure was glad we showed up because he really didn't know how much longer he was going to be able to hold on," Captain Douglas said.  The four men loaded the pig on to a trailer and took it to Marion County Animal Control buildings, where officials placed the pig in a dog pen.


Blatent Attempt at Platinum B.l.O.B. by Jack the Sailor
(Tune:  The Hero of the City)

Jack's Comments:  Here is my blatent attempt at the elusive Platinum B.L.O.B.  Notice that I have homages to the conversations in this thread and have used another Kenny Rogers song.


No one had considered him the hero of the city.
He'd never stood one single time just root in the back yard.
His owner named him Arnold, Her beau gave him to her
To imagine him as pork chops, wasn't very hard.

He was only 21 stone when Miss Moyer was accosted.
They broke into her garage and tried to steal her purse
There's been many strange things in the world of law enforcement
But all the cops will tell this one was a first

Promise for sure not to be a homovore,
Stay away from long pig if you can.
They're ankles may be aching but they'll turn you into Bacon
I hope you're wise enough to understand:
If you bite too much they'll turn you into ham

Here's a great coincidence, his owner's name was Becky
It means I'm gonna have to use this song
One day after the incident Star Tribune came a calling.
They didn't know that hogs could be so doggone strong!

Arnold opened up the door and saw his Becky cryin'.
The fake gun the threatning looks were more than he could stand
He reached the robbers ankles and chomped hard down upon them.
And all of Arnolds chomping turned them into Spam!

Promise for sure not to be a homovore,
Stay away from long pig if you can.
They're ankles may be aching but they'll turn you into Bacon
I hope you're wise enough to understand:
If you bite too much they'll make into you ham

The Robbers didn't laugh when Arnold did attack them.
They said there is a pig in here, there's blood upon the floor
When Arnold turned around they said Hey look old ham hock's chicken
But you could have heard a pork chop when went and locked the door

Twenty Stone of Porker descended to attack them
No way they could stop him he was so doggone fat
He chewed their legs for Becky
and threw them to the mat

And I heard him say,

"I promised for sure not to be a homovore,
I walk away from trouble when I can.
The police don't think I'm weak, It isn't vengance that I seek,
and Papa, I sure know you understand:
I'm starting to enjoy the taste of man

No one had considered him the hero of the city.

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