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SONG CHALLENGE WINNER!
Here's a Challenge! idea sent in by JenEllen -- Gobbler's Gone For Good: Cemetery Turkey Is Laid To Rest - Death Is Not Due To Fowl Play -- (Spokane, WA) When a tom turkey strutted onto a cemetery just before Thanksgiving, people figured he was either a farm escapee trying to avoid ending up the centerpiece of a holiday dinner ir a wild bird just passing through. But the bird that became known as Martin A Gobbler remained for good, and he hardly overstayed his welcome. The turkey - eventually determined to be wild - took up residence for seven months, adding unsuspected levity to graveside services. The gobbler also attracted gawkers who came to see him chase cars in the parkinglot and fend off the ducks who invaded what he considered his turf. Martin died June 24th, and got a farewell fit for a creature far higher on the food chain. The bird, believed to be around a year old, was found dead on the grounds with no obvious signs of trauma. The memorial drew about 50 people and featured an altar, photo, and flowers with an attached note "Your gobble will be missed." The turkey's cremated remains are stored in a small blue urn in the office of the funeral director while they plan to incorporate them into a monument featuring a bronze turkey statue placed near the office entrance. The cemetery owner believes Martin's biggest burden in life was his apparent inability to find a mate. Staff never saw a hen on the grounds, and Martin's flamboyant displays of strutting and pecking car tires were merely for human consumption. "He didn't enjoy his life of celibacy at all" stated the groundskeeper "He would get all fluffed up and parade around here like he owned the place. He was trying to attract a mate and there were none to attract."
Bird of Constant Sorrow by Amos
(Tune: A Man of Constant Sorrow (as performed by the Soggy Bottom Boys)
I am a bird of constant sorrow,
I've been lonesome all of my days
I think I'll cross that parkland border
Where the bipeds live and play
(Where the biiiipeds live and play!)
I'm goin' to settle by this grassland,
Where there grow these funny stones,
And find a hen, to love forever,
I need a bord to call my own.
(Needs a hen, to call his own!)
The twolegs come around my pastures,
They fill up holes, and honk and cry,
I always try to visit with them them,
In case a hen should there arrive
(In case a hen, should there arrive!!)
They always bring their ugly horses
Rubber toes, and feet bent round,
But when I chaw their feet of rubber
They very quickly settle down!
(They very quiiiickly setttle doown!!)
These fields and stones, please me no longer
I've hung around for much too long!
No shapely females have I found here
I wonder what I'm doing wrong!!
(He wonders whaaat he's doin' wrooong!!)
I know my time is fast approaching,
I'll watch the twofoot dance no more;
But there's a hen-soul out there somewhere,
And we will meet, acrooss that shore!
(And he will meeeet her, 'cross that shore!!)
I am a bird of constant sorrow,
O'er the Jordan I must pass,
But I can tell I'm leaving friends here,
They've cast my feathered butt in brass
(They cast his feaaathered butt in brass!)