SONG CHALLENGE WINNER!

The Song Challenge:  Is That A Baby Budgie In Your Pants, Or Are You Just Glad To See Me? -- RIO DE JANEIRO, Brazil (Reuters) -- With parrots and snakes in his luggage and bird eggs tucked into his underwear, an Austrian tourist has been arrested and charged for animal trafficking, Brazilian police said on Wednesday.   "He put (the eggs) near his testicles so they would be at nest temperature," a police spokesman said.  Police discovered 21 parrots, four parakeets and two snakes hidden in two large suitcases carried by Austrian botanist Johann Zillinger.  hey also found Zillinger had rolled five parakeet eggs into a sock and nestled them in his underwear.  "Since some of the parakeets that he had with him were newborns, we assume that some of the eggs had already hatched."  Tipped off by an anonymous call, Rio de Janeiro police arrested the Austrian on Monday in front of his Copacabana beach hotel, as he climbed into a taxi on his way to catch a flight to Europe.  According to police, Zillinger bought the animals in the Amazon port city of Belen and planned to take them to Austria to sell them in Europe.


The Birdman of Rio by derrymacash
(To the tune of "The German Clockwinder" as sung by, inter alia, The Dubliners. (Oom-pah-pah, oom-pah-pah))

An Austrian chap, to Brazil one day came
Johann Zillinger was that Austrian's name
Some come to Brazil to relax on the sand
But Johann's ambitions were somewhat more grand

CHORUS
Singing toora-lumma-lumma toora-lumma-lumma toora-lye -aye
Toora-lye-oora-lye-oora-lye-aye
Toora-lumma-lumma toora-lumma-lumma toora-lye-aye
Toora-lye-oora-lye-oora-lye-aye

Johann was a dealer in contraband beasts
A trade, we'll agree, that ought to be ceased
If they're finned, feathered, furry or covered in scales
He'll soon have them smuggled and offered for sale

CHORUS

His name it was legend with villains abroad
At first they considered his trade to be odd
But Johann's money talked long and talked loud
Everywhere his plane landed he gathered a crowd

CHORUS

They offered him emus and zebras and frogs
Polar bears, lizards, big cats and wild dogs
Giraffes and bush-babies, a huge moray eel
If it crawls, swims or wriggles, he'll cut you a deal

CHORUS

His trip was successful, and soon he'd fly home
To market his produce to those "in the know"
But as he was leaving a little boy begged
"Hey meester, you wanna buy exotic eggs?"

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The eggs, he was told, would hatch into birds
More gorgeous than any elsewhere in the world
Kept safe and warm, back in Europe they'd hatch
Birds whose beauty no others could match

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He wrapped up the eggs, so precious, so rare
And cradled them inside his oul' underwear
All cosy and warm, they'd be safe through the flight
They would hatch, he was told, in a couple of nights

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His suitcase was bulging, all livestock asleep
But just as he boarded, the crew heard a cheep
And then came another, Johann cried in shock
As two tiny hatchlings were pecking his cock

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The premature hatching was Johann's downfall
They say that the heat coming off from his balls
Sped up the wee birdies' desire to break free
Of the shell that constrained them since they were conceived

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At the trial he was guilty, he pled no excuse
The strength of the case made such pleading no use
And Johann will wait a long time to be free-o
Now they give him the nickname, "The Birdman of Rio"

CHORUS ad nauseam

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