SONG CHALLENGE WINNER!

The Song Challenge:   Not one to let you Challenge!rs rest on your laurels (or cow chips, as the case may be), here's a great two-fer-one Challenge! from myself and the doesterr.  You have a choice here -- you can write a song about either of these topics, OR, you can write a song that includes both topics, thus qualifying for the Two-Fer-One Award! 

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(This one is from doesterr) 

Do You Know The Way To San Jose?  This could only happen in California....(true story) -- Car Jacking Foiled: An elderly lady did her shopping and upon return found four unknown males in her car.  She dropped her shopping bags and drew her handgun, proceeding to scream at them at the top of her voice that she "knows how to use it and that she will if required... so get out of the car! "   The four men didn't wait around for a second invitation, but got out and ran like mad, whereupon the lady proceeded to load her shopping bags into the back of the car and got into the drivers seat.   Small problem: her key wouldn't fit the ignition.  Her car was an identical model and was parked four or five spaces further down.  She reloaded her bags into her car and drove to the police station.  The sergeant that she told the story to nearly tore himself in two with laughter and pointed to the other end of the counter where 4 pale white males were reporting a car jacking by a mad elderly white woman...no charges were filed. 

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And here's mine: 

Car 54 - Where Are You?  Pensioners cause mayhem in police car - Police are investigating how two 76-year-old women got hold of a squad car and drove it with sirens blaring and lights flashing - before crashing it.  The little old ladies were "Citizens on Patrol" volunteers who drive around Beloit, Wisconsin, looking out for suspicious behaviour - but they are NOT supposed to drive squad cars.  They were asked to go to the scene of an accident to help control traffic but ended up in the police squad car instead of one of the unmarked police cars they normally use, according to the Milwaukee Journal Sentinel.  Shirley Nelson and neighbour Jeune Nelson kept the radio on during the incident and were heard asking each other for directions.  Their adventure ended when they went through a red light and hit an oncoming car.  Neither woman was hurt but Shirley received a ticket for failing to drive safely.  The Citizens Patrol programme has been suspended pending an inquiry.  "I want to know who sent two little old ladies out in a squad car with a shotgun," says Rock County district attorney David O'Leary.  He is reviewing the case to see if criminal charges might be brought.

Big Mama, Why'd Ya Point That Ought Six At Me? by Áine
(Tune: Oh Lord, Won't You Buy Me A Color TV)

Áine's Comments:  Well, it ain't no two-fer, but it'll have to do:

Oh Mamaw, why'd ya have to spoil all our fun?
Can't you carry a walking stick, in place of a gun?
'Stead of cruising in my SUV, now I'm on the run
Oh Mamaw, why'd ya have to spoil all our fun?

Oh Nana, we were just out to have a good time
Just picking up a pizza, that ain't no crime
And I'd ordered extra cheese - it woulda been so sublime
Oh Nana, we were just out to have a good time

Oh Grandma, didn't you take your medicine today?
What wrong was I doing, driving out for takeaway?
Were you tripping on progesterone, did you OD on satchet?
Oh Grandma, didn't you take your medicine today?

Big Mama, why'd ya point that ought six at me?
You scared me so bad now, I ran into a tree
I know life is scary, but can't you let things be?
Big Mama, why'd ya point that ought six at me?

Dear Granny, I know you didn't really mean any harm
Not even when you grabbed me and twisted my arm
That senior centre defense course, it worked like a charm!
Dear Granny, I know you didn't really mean any harm

Oh Mamaw, put yer Uzi down and come out to dance!
I know it's been 20 years since you had the chance
We'll sing Pistol Packin' Mama, but please lose that fer-de-lance
Oh Mamaw, put yer Uzi down and come out to dance!

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